


Beautiful Monster

by Aviendha69



Series: Reylo Short Stories and Novellas [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Rey (Star Wars), Dubious Consent, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, First Order Politics (Star Wars), HEA?, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Love Triangles, Make love like war, Multi, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, The Scavenger is selfish, Unprotected Sex, Voyeurism, You Need A Teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 40,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23808991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aviendha69/pseuds/Aviendha69
Summary: Once Snoke is dead, Kylo Ren is free to think for himself for the first time in his life.Beset by responsibilities and plagued by nightmares, he captures Rey to soothe his soul.Reylo-centric.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Reylo Short Stories and Novellas [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746646
Comments: 40
Kudos: 43
Collections: Force Dyad Celebration!, TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. A Companion

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I explore many psychological themes in this and all my fics. Some of the interactions may be difficult to stomach for some. I added some recommended tags but be aware that it is impossible to please - or warn - everyone. Please remember that no people were actually harmed writing this work of fiction.
> 
> He who conquers himself, conquers all.  
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monsters in the Darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta reader, and the stories keep coming, each iteration bringing me closer to something as yet inexpressible.

* * *

"No more Masters. The Resistance is dead, the war is over. I'll destroy her, and you, and... all of it-" Kylo Ren was a maelstrom of fury and hurt.

"Ben. Snoke is dead." Luke hoped his nephew could see the freedom that was at hand. His own freedom was beckoning: freedom from this world.

"- and when I'll have killed you, I will have killed the last Jedi!" There would be only Darkness and the perfect clockwork of the Order.

Luke had a brief vision, just as the battlefield started to fade from his sight.

"No. You will _train_ the last Jedi. And you will train your son. And many more." He shut off his lightsaber, and stood in a final salute.

  
Kylo saw the opening and rushed him, hitting only thin air. Then his old Master was gone. All his Masters were gone. 

_You will train your son._

He put up his hand, signaled his troops to hold. The Resistance had escaped. His mother, Chewie, FN-2187 and the ones he didn't know had escaped. With Rey. 

He turned back. 

***

Rey was unable to block the Force connections that continued even after Crait. They were only flashes, just check-ins, it seemed, showing Kylo Ren in various states of despair or rage, sitting at his desk with his head in his hands, or disheveled and sweaty, lightsaber in hand, glassy-eyed and not moving for long seconds before raging again.

This instability lasted the better part of a standard month. The first week or so her appearance would startle him and he would go from one state to the other, screaming incoherently or becoming ominously mute, pointedly ignoring her. The next few appearances, he had a mask on, a different one, even at night. A few days of that, and when she saw his face again it was a pasty mess with raw patches on it, the scar she had put there puffy and an angry red that must have burned and itched terribly. 

The connections were brief but frequent, at least once a day. She learned to keep very still in those moments, avoiding outbursts. She wasn't exactly scared, but for that first month, Kylo Ren was a feral animal, and there was nothing she could do but witness his madness. No one could have done anything about it. The intense moments triggered her own grief, leaving her a shaking, crying mess of her own. 

Then, progressively, Kylo Ren seemed to regain some kind of balance. 

*** 

Kylo Ren was free for the first time in his life.

It must have been Hux that kept him together enough to not implode and take everything with him. Maybe, after the first few assassination attempts failed - leaving horribly dismembered corpses - it had become clear they would not be rid of him short of blowing up the ship he was on. Even then, his sensibility - his paranoia, rather - was so dialed up he could probably tell if everyone abandoned ship. His power had grown immense. He'd killed one of his Ren and now even they were terrified of him. 

Between bouts of absolute madness, he had enough moments of lucidity to make it to the bridge, first for an hour, then progressively more time, and Hux or Pryde would present him with status reports that required little action on his part. Hux was taking most of the decisions now, even as he called him Supreme Leader. Every day Kylo Ren would ask if any trace of the Resistance had been found. 

On the day the response was positive, he calmed down. The world seemed to snap back into focus. Hux proposed they attack as soon as possible. Kylo Ren proposed a parley. He just wanted the girl Rey. 

***

"Like some... companion?" Rey asked Leia, when General Organa came to her with the proposal. "I've already refused once. I suppose I should not be surprised he'd ask again."

"I'll tell them no then. Our defenses our ready. We should be able to hold out better than last time, until we find a way to escape."

"How long can we stand a siege?"

"A month? More if we ration right away." Leia looked confident, but Rey could feel something else: exhaustion, resignation.

"They said they'd call off the attack if I surrendered myself to him? Did they promise safe passage?"

"Yes. They said you would be "his guest". 

"That was clumsy of them." She almost smiled at his choice of words. "I can't make a decision without seeing him face to face."

"Rey, this could be suicide." The older woman murmured, hope and despair warring on her face. 

"I'll buy us time. I saw him come down from the madness for the past month. This is the only chance we have. Let me discuss terms with him."

**

They sat at each end of the small table, each with a scribe to record an official account of the negotiations. Their feelings, however, were invisible to their witnesses. She was apprehensive, but curious. He was hopeful. _Hopeful_. 

In exchange for a withdrawal of the siege, and a prolonged cease-fire, Rey of Jakku agreed to reside on the ship currently occupied by the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. 

She would be fed and clothed, and whatever assured her continued life and comfort. She would receive training in the martial arts and in the ways of the Force - that rose a few eyebrows around the table - and access to the library for academic purposes. She would be allowed time planet-side for _morale._ Accompanied, obviously. She would have her own suite of rooms near the Supreme Leader's quarters.

* _That's intimate*,_ she thought _at_ him, the words unspoken. 

_*Would you rather the brig?*_ he answered in kind. 

"For how long?" she asked, glancing up from the paper to look at him, seeing only his mask. 

"As long as the Supreme Leader deems the arrangement profitable to the First Order."

 _*Are we to be married, then?*_ she scoffed.

Kylo Ren stiffened. _*That's not what this is*,_ he growled.

 _*What is it then?*_ There was long moment's silence. He didn't know. 

"For Kriff's sake. Show me your face." After a moment's hesitation, the ugly thing came off. She gasped. He looked terrible. 

"A year", she demanded. _*No raping.*_

A surprised jolt, then he acquiesced "You have my word. A year." Relief flooded through him and she felt caught up in it like a rainstorm. 

"I accept." 

She barely had time to grab up the Jedi text and hug her friends before she was whisked away into his shuttle. "There's more to this than meets the eye." She told them as a way to reassure them. "I have something he wants."

**

In the shuttle on the way to _the Steadfast,_ he stayed in the cockpit with the pilot. Emotions rolled off him: elation, fear, self-disgust, triumph. Relief, most of all. 

She sat in the back with her hands in her lap, trying to understand her own feelings. Of course her surrender could be justified as sacrificing herself to save the Resistance, that was the easy way to think about it. But it was not how she _felt_. At the core was anger. Being forced into submission by Kylo Ren, after everything she'd done to resist him, after everyone she'd ever resisted in her life so she could be free... and now she was trapped again. She was understandably angry. But some of her feelings were embarrassingly similar to what she sensed emanating from the cockpit. She _meant_ something to him. 

In the docking bay, he gave a few instructions to the guards, looked at her hesitantly before giving her a quick nod, then marched off. 

A uniformed man presented himself as her personal steward and accompanied her to her quarters, making sure she understood the indications to find her way again. He showed her in and gave her a tour, instructing her on the amenities that were at her disposal. The first room was a tiny boudoir, a waiting room with a settee, a low table and a chair with a hanging lamp over the table. It was really to shield her bedroom from the corridor. 

Inside was a simple arrangement: the bedroom, a personal fresher; another door on the far side led to a sitting room she would share with _him_. Her bed was large and luxurious compared to what she had known until now. A little bedside table and lamp, and a large closet and dresser completed the set. Most of it was dark, whether made from some plasteel or dark wood; the plush rug at her feet was a rich burgundy. The bedsheets where a cold, pristine white, the comforter a textured grey. The transparisteel window was at least ten square meters, its opacity adjustable via a dial; right now it was dark. In front of it was a simple table and chair that could easily be moved to the side. In a discreet panel near the comms console she had access to a little sink and tap, with a heating pad for water, an assortment of fine teas, and a tiny cup and teapot of delicate porcelain. 

"We can offer you other varieties, if you prefer. It was our understanding you took a liking to tea while with the Resistance?" the young, lanky man politely inquired. 

"Thank you, I'm sure whatever selection you have will be fine. I would like something sturdier than this cup, please, um - ."

"My name is Lucas. I will bring you a fine mug."

"Thank you Lucas. You can call me Rey." 

His face brightened. "Here is your change of clothes. We tried to respect your preferences."

The steward opened the wardrobe for her. There were a few sturdy training kits heavily- or light-padded, loose-fitting day-clothes, a First Order uniform ( _just in case there is some official function you must attend_ he told her). Shoes or boots to accompany the kits. Simple, natural cloth underwear and nightshirts. One soft white dress. The rest was black, or shades of gray. 

"Everything was made to specifications, but we have a tailor at your disposal for adjustments, or for your custom." 

"This is... very generous of the First Order" she breathed. "And in such short order. What, two days?"

"The First Order is efficient, but preparations for your arrival started two weeks ago. The Supreme Leader had very clear instructions as to what was needed." 

_As soon as his head started to clear, then._

The fresher had both water and sonic in a real bathtub, another luxury for the Scavenger from Jakku. In the cabinet were comfy white towels and creamy soap bars. A herbal shampoo she wanted to use right away. A sink, a real toothbrush, a mirror. Everything she needed, all for her personal use.

Lucas then showed her the common area she would share with Kylo Ren: the study.

It had a long table and four chairs, a couple data consoles; one wall was covered in a bookcase, before it another comfy settee with a little side table and a standing lamp. On the opposite was another huge opening into the wonders of space. They were traveling at hyper-speed for now, but she could imagine the sights she would soon see. There was a little counter with amenities for making caf. It held a bowl of red and orange fruit. She examined the bookcase.

There were the Jedi and some Sith texts. Poetry and Histories. Encyclopedias. Engineering text-books. Philosophy. Psychology. Medicine. Arts. 

"Quite a selection for just one Scavenger", she chuckled "I hope I have enough of one year."

"This is the Supreme Leader's private collection. This rooms adjoins his and is his personal study." She looked at the far door, eyes widening in uncertainty. 

The steward caught her eye. "Both bedrooms lock. You have your privacy. He will have his. In this panel is hidden a sound system. We did not have a list of your personal musical tastes, however I will find and procure you whatever music you want. In the meanwhile, you can browse his."

"For meals, you have few choices: you can eat in your room, or you can eat in this room. I don't advise you to eat with the troops or the officers, Madame La Resistance. It would put them off."

At this, she laughed quietly. At least the staff was human. " 'Madame la Resistance', indeed. I will eat here then."

The tour was ended, there was one last thing. Lucas opened a box that was on the table and removed a white metal bracelet. "This is your...key" he said lamely, putting the smooth, simple oval in her hand. "It allows you to leave these rooms and grants you access to certain areas: the library. The swimming pool. Training gyms. Other areas." He softened his voice. "You don't have to put it on right away, but once you do, you won't be able to take it off. Now if you'll excuse me, I will get you that mug. The medic will be here shortly." 

Lucas the Steward left, the door clicking shut. She stood with the deceptively delicate-looking bracelet in her hand for a while, looking at the tall bookcase. A human medic came in, took some samples of her saliva and other things, looked at her teeth and did several tests. She noted the results in her data pad. She gave Rey a few injections: vaccines, a vitamin boost. Her voice was soft as she explained the prescriptions and her touch was warm. Then she took out a prev-kit and prepared to inject a pellet into Rey's arm.

"What's this? Another tracker?" Rey was wary of something being inserted into her. 

"A contraceptive. Standard issue."

"I won't need it. I don't want it." _I don't want to need it._

The Medic looked at her for a moment before nodding and noting the refusal in her datapad. "If you change your mind, we will provide the service within a day. It will take several days to be effective."

When the woman left, Rey sat on the bed and cried. 

By the time Lucas came with her supper and a white porcelain mug, she was calm again, and was examining the contents of the library. She had showered and put on loose fitting pants and a shirt, and adjusted the temperature to go as high as it could. The bracelet sat on the little side table near the entry to her room. 

It would be three days before Rey actually saw him again. There weren't even flash-connections, though the proximity made her constantly aware of his presence. She could probably turn towards him, like a needle in a compass. 


	2. Better the monster you know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every one tries to find their place in this new story.

He had always had nightmares, but now that Snoke was dead, they were all of his own. How he had survived the first week after the murder was a mystery.

Other than the horrible humiliation of the loss on Crait, he couldn't remember anything after the fading of the lucky dice in his hand, He couldn't even try to remember it, the stab in his heart was too much. Somehow, he had made it to _the Steadfast_ , where someone had guided him to new quarters. After that, darkness, pitch black. A terrifying empty silent void alternated with a maelstrom of horrible memories, grasping at him, grabbing him, tearing him apart or pulling him under until he gasped as if drowning in blood. Pain. Screams. The smells of death.

Flashes of light dotted the Darkness, and when he realized the Bond had survived Snoke he first tried to hide himself from her with a new mask. That had not lasted very long, his skin beginning to peel after the third day of wearing it non-stop and waking up in a fit of claustrophobic panic. Showering, eating, shitting. He finally took it off. 

He could not bear to be alone. He knew that much. He had to have _her_ with him. She had managed to escape him but he would find a way to put her into a position where she could not refuse him. He was certain she _would_ have accepted his offer on _the Supremacy,_ if he had not called her garbage and had called off the attack on the Resistance. Instead, he had bungled it and he was lucky she hadn't killed him. _Then_ he had pursued her and killed most of her friends, including Luke - if indirectly. He did not know how he was going to recover from that _gaffe_ , but he was going to try. 

First, he had to find her and capture her. 

The next two weeks were spent recovering enough to function again. Hux and Pryde traded power with him in exchange for indulging him in his pursuit. It was shameful, but the nightmares pushed him on. The Bond was strong enough between them now he was able to sense her from across the Galaxy. He gave instructions for the suite of room adjacent his. The rest had gone as he had hoped. 

Now she was two doors away from him, and he had a lot of promises to keep. To her. To his staff. To his mother. 

Two doors away from him, _she_ was sleeping. 

He felt his heart beat in his chest for the first time in what seemed like ages. He crossed the first door, into his study. He had taken the Jedi text and put them in the common room he had arranged between their suites. He had added some Sith books as well. He made for the new texts and picked one out. He returned to his own room and studied for the better part of the night shift. 

*

"The Resistance is down to a handful, General Hux. We won." Kylo Ren was feeling himself again, whoever "himself" was. 

"Why do we have the Scavenger, then? Isn't she the Last Jedi? Aren't you the 'Jedi Killer'? " Hux had to ask, if only so he could plan around the inconvenience of having a spy knowingly on board. 

"The last Jedi is dead. The girl is no more a Jedi than I am a Sith. No, she is something else." The Bond between them remained, meaning Snoke had not forged it. The Force had. The girl _did_ have a place in this story. _His_ story. 

"What then?" Jedi or Sith or not, they were Force-Wielders the both of them. If the Supreme Leader had been any ordinary man, the reason he kept the girl would have been charmingly simple. Kylo Ren was far from ordinary, though, so the relationship was anything but simple. 

"That's what I'm trying to figure out." He made it a point to study everyday, trying to understand what the Force had arranged between them. 

Hux gave him a long look. Scenarios played in his mind of finding a way to get rid of both of them. Maybe convince them to elope on some romantic trip. Maybe convince them to jump off some Lover's Leap somewhere. 

Until then, the Supreme Leader had returned to a state of calm while Pryde and him ran things. Leia Organa ran the "Official" Resistance, but there were other cats to skin. 

***

Lucas woke her, bringing her a light breakfast. "Training starts today", he told her. "Staff combat and blaster in the shooting range. We will be planning out a schedule with you as the day progresses." He motioned toward the white bracelet still on the table. "If you don't wear it, someone will have to accompany you wherever you go. Even into the fresher." 

She nodded and put the band into her pocket. 

In the arena, she was introduced to Josa and Teneth, who greeted her with both deference and skepticism. They showed her around the area, the padded rooms, the hard floored rooms, the control panel for the training bots, the armory, the obstacle course. She liked that area most: it reminded her of the wreckage on Jakku. Then the training started and she put her mind to it. At the break, she climbed to the top of the asymmetrical obstacle sculpture and perched there, watching the stars streak by in the high window. Josa joined her.

"You are already good with climbing this. Can you combat in such a structure?" The broad woman asked.

"I've had to squabble for prize parts every now and then, but never all-out combat." She hesitated, then murmured "Unless you count defending myself, my ... personal self ... combat." 

"I do." A pause. "The First Order tolerates interpersonal relationships. It severely punishes interpersonal abuse. Right-out-the-airlock punishment. Troop _morale_ must be preserved."

"Policy?" she was surprised. Finn spoke of harsh training and re-programming, but they had not broached such a sensitive subject.

"Unofficial policy. A few years back, known offenders started to just disappear. Supreme Leader Snoke said nothing, so it was understood he condoned it."

"Speaking of Supreme Leader: wasn't he supposed to ... to train me?" she tripped on the words.

"Not at this level. He may test you later. You can imagine he has many responsibilities, what with all the upset you've caused." It wasn't quite a reproach. Josa stood up. "Break's over. Time for the shooting range".

At the end of the morning, she was escorted back to her rooms. She showered before lunch was served. As she ate in silence she became aware of his presence in his own rooms. Her breath caught. He was still; meditating, studying, sleeping? She wasn't sure. She felt him stir, as if startled. Then his presence faded away. She tried to leave her room with the bracelet in her pocket but the door stayed shut. She crossed into the study instead. A Jedi text had been left on the table. She noticed another hidden panel and in it she found calligraphy supplies. Touching the brushes gave her flashes of memories they had shared in the little hut. 

In the afternoon a tutor came to test her on her academic knowledge. He left with a draft for a learning path. 

_"We can rule together. Bring a New Order to the Galaxy."_ She could hear him say it again. She would have immense resources at her disposal. He was willing to teach her how to use them. She had a year to understand her place in all this. 

When Lucas came again she asked to dispatch a message to the Resistance. They made a simple holo telling them she was being well-treated so far and determining a drop-point for future messages.

When he left she was alone again, and she crossed back into the study, this time to browse over the collection of Ren's music. It was eclectic, but ordered by style, by artists, chronologically. Most of it was instrumental, ranging from angry beats to delicate, rain-like cascades of notes that told stories of conquests or wonders. She found a particularly old recording and when she put it on, the song had a striking beat and a lonely man sang a lonely song.

She found where he kept the wine and poured herself a glass. She picked up the Jedi text he had left on the table. It was strange to hold something he had held, to sit in a chair he had sat on. She kept his place in the book but continued from there. 

She went to bed. She woke to her second morning. She felt him in the other room. He was quiet.

Her day was very much like the first one, breakfast, training with Josa and Teneth, lunch. She received some academic material and a new tutor came to begin correcting and building on her language and mathematics skills. She was reminded she had access to the library and the swimming pool if she put on the bracelet. There was a running track too, with view on the Galaxy. That one was tempting. Instead she put more music on, picked up a Sith text - it was gibberish to her, but the schematics might reveal something - and studied some more. 

In the evening a light flashed beside her door and a muted chime announced a visitor. 

General Armitage Hux had come to see her. She invited him in for tea, but he declined and stood in the little boudoir, gauging her. They exchanged perfunctory pleasantries for a minute before he got right on to business: "The official story is that _you_ assassinated Supreme Leader Snoke, killed the eight Praetorian guards and knocked Kylo Ren out before escaping _The Supremacy_." 

Rey gasped in shock. She schooled her face back to what she hoped was neutral expression. "That's impressive. What if I did ?" 

"Normally, you would be chained in the dungeons, awaiting trial." Hux was digging at something, she was not sure what. She felt barely contained anger starting to bubble to the surface. Hux had never been imprisoned in his life, she was sure of it. 

"From my point of view, I _am_ locked in a dungeon. And I stand before a judge right now." She waited, holding his gaze. He cast an appreciative gaze at her "dungeon", at the datapad she still held.

"From what I understand of Sith religion, and of Dark Force users, killing one's Master is a common rite of passage. A preferred one, really. That would make _you_ Supreme Leader; if Snoke had been your Master. He was not?" 

He was fishing for proof of foul play on Kylo Ren's part, by playing both systems of law at once until he had a condemnation. 

"General Hux, what you say could be viewed as treasonous. I have accepted apprenticeship under the _current_ Supreme Leader's instruction." She instantly regretted saying that. She could almost hear the trap snap shut.

"Indeed. _Master_ Kylo Ren's apprentice. Let's hope you are as loyal to him as he was to his own Master. Masters. Or even his father, come to think of it." Hux bid her good evening and took his leave. 

_What a monster,_ she thought, uncertain who she really meant, seething at having been put in a position where she had had to defend Kylo Ren.

For the first time in weeks, she beckoned _that man_ to come see her. 

A few minutes later, she heard _*I will*_ in her head.

When he made it to his quarters, it was the middle of the night shift. Pryde had kept him with details on a system of planets he insisted were important for their next conquest. Ren suspected Hux and Pryde were splitting shifts, relaying each other to exhaust him. He would have to find some way to divide them soon. He took off his boots and his wide belt and most of his costume so he could breathe a little before bed. Maybe he could read something simple to get to sleep. 

He realized she was in the study. 

Now that he had her, his plans of the past month were being tested. He could schedule her every minute of every day for the next year, it didn't change that she would leave him after that time. If he made her officially a prisoner, he could not keep her this near. That he could keep her alive at all was only due to his personal power, power that was bleeding from him with each passing day. He would have to make her an ally. 

She had been here two days only and already his sleep had improved greatly: the nightmares were dampened, there were more stretches of actual sleep between them. Her presence was literally like the night light he had needed in his room as a child. He felt foolish, but there was no helping it. With Snoke dead he had traded one monster for a multiple of others. 

Rey of Jakku was young and wild and naive all at once, but her compass was unerring and that was how she kept the Light. If he hurt her or broke her down, or turned her to the Darkness as he had thought, he would extinguish her Light. And then she would just be another monster in the dark with him. How could he convince her to stay?

He stepped carefully into the study to find her asleep on the settee, a book on her stomach. It was not the first time he saw her like this after her initial "interrogation": the Force had connected them twice in the past month while she was asleep and he was in the middle of a fit of madness and her appearance had immediately calmed him instead of setting him off like it first had. 

"Rey", he called to her gently so as not to startled her. It said a lot about their bond that she would let herself be vulnerable like that, but he supposed she knew no lock or door would stop him from hurting her if he wanted to. She had only his word, but he had given it. Looking at her peaceful face he was tempted to pick her up like he had on Takodana and carry her to her bed. He could still feel her supple form in his arms, how she had weighted so little and all he could think of was how undernourished she was. Seeing him come up the shuttle's ramp, a trooper had sniggered. On base he had sat before her, waiting for her to wake up instead of letting some underling "soften her up" for interrogation.

As dim as it was, he had felt her force signature but there was something else, as if he had always known her. When he had breached her mind and she had clawed her way up that link into his own...

His eyes wandered back to her as he was musing and she was staring right at him. He straightened. His hand was still on his door handle, as if he'd frozen on the threshold. He had, in fact, frozen on the threshold of his own study, afraid of startling the girl he had killed his Master for. She sat up and rubbed sleep out of her eyes. The book fell to the floor. He took a breath and came all the way in. 

"You wanted to see me?" he kept his tone neutral, they could be civil. 

"I did", she conceded, "General Hux came to see me and discuss things. He made me uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable how?" He bristled. Throwing Hux out an airlock would greatly simplify things.

She shook her head "Not like that", and he relaxed. She recounted the earlier conversation, her hackles raising with every sentence.

"He was trying to trip me up so I would tell him the truth."

"So you supported my version". _Better the monster you know,_ he thought.

"Yes. And now I am your apprentice, _Master Ren_." She pushed the words out sarcastically, but she was worried by the implications. 

"The Sith are dead, and you are not a Jedi. You are not." he repeated, seeing her face darken. "You have not pronounced any oath towards me, but I gave you my word." Something else bothered her. 

"You're afraid he will harass you if the contract between us is not clear?" She nodded. 

"I will call you Master Ren to dispel doubts." A new barrier slid shut between them.

She had not called him Ben since Crait, he realized. She was sitting three feet away from him, weaponless, his prisoner _and_ his ward, and yet there was more distance between them now than when they had touched hands during that Force-bond across light-years, a lifetime ago. 

He felt an urge to kneel before her and pledge her his life right there and then. So fierce was this emotion, his whole body heaved with it. He stepped back but not before her eyes widened in surprise. 

"See that you do. I will see you on the morrow for the Force training as scheduled." He turned on his heel and went back to his room. 

Rey sat, stunned by what she had just seen. Waves of conflicting emotions stormed through her as she tried to make sense of their first intimate conversation since sharing the elevator ride on their way to killing Snoke. 

Kylo Ren, or Ben Solo, had feelings for her that had nothing to do with capturing the "Beacon of the Resistance". The sheer intensity of his feelings terrified her.


	3. A Flame

Kylo Ren stripped off as soon as the door was closed behind him. His body felt electric as he broke out into a sweat. He would have peeled off his own skin if it had been possible. He wanted to rip out his muscles, his organs, his heart and make his skeleton walk back to her and throw his whole being into a heap at her feet so she could put him back together again. 

There was no triumph in her calling him Master Ren. There _was_ no Master Ren. There was only the Knight's failed Ren, Luke's failed Padawan, Solo's failed Ben, Snoke's failed Kylo. His mother's failed son. The Supreme Leader of the First Order was bound to a scavenger girl from Jakku. He had studied the Force for over twenty years, the Light and the Dark of it, and in the end all that mattered now was how he could serve this girl. This girl, this girl, this girl. 

This _girl's_ name was _Rey_. 

He had captured her to stave off his night terrors and now something completely different was threatening to destroy him. He had no Master to hold him back from the pull to the Light, and so he would burn. 

He stumbled into the shower and scoured the sweat and the emotions from his body. He was tempted to shave his head and his whole body in an attempt to purify himself for some unconscionable offer to her. Gradually, under the soothing streams, he calmed again. Today was done. Tonight, he would sleep. Tomorrow, he would teach her Force-rage. 

***

Rey woke up furious. Being held for reasons _other_ than political or even religious - considering the Sith and the Jedi were religious factions - made her situation _personal_. She was not here because the Supreme Leader wanted to brainwash her into accepting First Order propaganda and convince the Resistance to give up and join the greater power. She was not here because Kylo Ren wanted her to embrace the Dark side - though she certainly planned on learning every bit of both those aspects of power. 

No. She was here for Ben Solo again. Foolish girl. She had gone to him thinking to turn him back to the Light and "save his soul" and "end the war" and all those noble reasons, and she had never thought of what would happen then, what it would mean to him. Did she think to just give him back to his mother?

She saw his face again in the throne room, his hand outstretched. Did she think his heartfelt plea was for political power?

 _She_ meant something to him. 

She would call him Master, but they both knew who held the power here. And the responsibility crushed her. 

Lucas found her crying when he brought her breakfast. He tried to comfort her: "You have to be strong" he told her awkwardly. 

"I _am_ strong", she told him, if the past two days' training were any indication. "But that's not why I'm here."

Lucas gave her a confused look, and she wiped her tears and ate her eggs, and prepared for her day. 

*

During weapons training Teneth told her they would be working staff and dual-sword forms. They would also test working with a glaive, which was a long-handled, short-bladed weapon. 

"The Supreme Leader is studying several designs for your light-saber weapon. He's considering your experience with the staff."

"Master Ren is very generous in preparing me for our final duel at the end of the year", she said. The words felt momentous. "I will not disappoint him." Teneth looked at her, but said nothing. 

After Teneth, she trained with Josa. It felt good to climb rope and bound from one perch to the other in the big obstacle course. She had a low-power blaster to shoot pop-up targets with and it was a game to her for now. What this training was preparing her for, she had no idea. 

She ate a light lunch. She would finally work with him today and her stomach clenched in anticipation, but she had to keep her energy up. She would be a good student, so he would be a good Master.

When he appeared he stood before her for a few seconds before giving her a traditional salute, and she mirrored him. Then he let himself drop to a meditation stance before her and looked to see her follow him, before closing his eyes. He was as nervous as she was and she could sense he had never taught before. Her heart went out to him. She could almost hear him count to one hundred. His heart and his breathing slowed. She opened her eyes before he did and let herself look at him directly.

He had tied back his raven hair into a bun and his lopsided face was all nose and ears. He had a deceptively delicate chin on which was precariously perched that full-lipped, crooked mouth. The scar she had put on him - she felt a flash of pride every time she remembered her victory - was fading to a silver cord over his cheek. It didn't exactly disfigure him, she decided. He had a wide forehead and mobile eyebrows that hardened or softened his face instantly. He looked better rested. His eyes...his dark almond eyes were opened, soft and relaxed, and she almost fell right into them.

She caught herself, looked away, certain she was blushing. Then she clenched her jaw and wrenched her head back to face him, hesitant between a challenging or a demure mien. He gave her moment, an eyebrow popping up in a patient question: "Are we ready, apprentice ?" She nodded. If the stakes had not been so high, they might have laughed, but it would be years before the man in front of her cracked his facade. Or months. 

"I am certain you would not benefit from Master Snoke's teaching techniques, so I will apply what I remember from Luke's unless they are not sufficient."

"Mas- Master Ren" she almost bit her tongue, "I accept." 

"Yes, you do. Reach for the Force inside you."

She closed her eyes. She hated meditation. It was a state of helplessness and vulnerability she could not afford on Jakku, where she could barely sleep at night, instantly aware of any activity in her surrounding. The Resistance base, with its constant hustle and bustle, had slowly worn her down for days before exhaustion had forced her to sleep in an closet. Meditation demanded she put herself in a deaf-and-blind-like state, and she hated it. 

She struggled. As much as she hated giving up her hold on reality, she wanted to reach for what held it together. She had the power to wield it, a rare gift. Slowly, the hum of the ship and the lights faded. The light seeping through her eyelids stopped making patterns she could chase. The mat beneath her, a crease in her breeches, a kink in her ankle, a strap on her shoulder, all these annoyances started to give way. She listened to her breathing. She could hear his and after a while just synced up with it. Then she was part of it all, like there was no boundaries between her and everything around her. 

Master Ren spoke.

"I've seen you angry. I've seen how that anger gives you strength." He remembered how close she'd come to kill him. The memory played in his mind, every heartbeat of every second. "We will give a name to this ability. It is Force-Rage.

"On Star-Killer base, I was wounded, and I was using the same ability. This is what I want you to learn: Force-Rage allows you to use your anger, fear, and pain and turn it into the energy you need to fight on."

"That is how you managed to keep fighting in spite of your injury?" She thought of how strong he had been, how terrifyingly powerful. She remembered how she herself had reached for the Force: through fear...and anger. Then a fire had burned through her, like she could do anything. "That is how I beat you."

"Yes. The emotions will sustain you only for a while though, at great personal cost." She was listening. He went on: "The wounds you sustain continue to deteriorate. You can die even as you cut down a dozen enemy. 

"And there is another risk: you may completely lose your connection to the Light Side." There, he'd said it. He'd warned her. 

"Did _you_?"

"You can also use the extra energy to retreat to a safe place. I think that would be the better use of it for you now." He finished. 

" _Did_ you, Master Ren?" She asked again. 

He fell silent. The memory of Snoke's voice echoed in his head: ' _Look at you, the deed split your spirit to the bone'._

"You know the answer to that, apprentice". He got up. "We can look at the drafts for your light-saber now."

"But... aren't we going to practice?" Her anticipation had built nervous energy in her. She wanted a fight.

He'd brought this on himself. He'd pulled the Light to him. He'd actively sought it out, chased it, trapped it, captured it. 

_'By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced'_ he'd assured Snoke. Where was the old monster now? He'd blown him out the airlock. _He_ was the monster now. 

"So be it." He called a wooden sword to his hand, then gave her another salute when she grasped hers.

Every blow he landed on her was both pleasure and pain, building and driving her from pain to fear, to anger. She was incredibly strong, but she was no Jedi: she was quick to anger and had no empathy for him in this state. He would bear a few welts of his own. When her second wind came she became dangerous and he felt her Light dim. 

He dropped his sword, disarmed her and caught her wrist, twisting it behind her and wrapping his other arm around her so he could hold her still against him. "I am not wounded this time" he whispered the lie into her ear, "do not sacrifice everything just to defeat me with a wooden sword". Physical contact threatened to connect their minds. "Feel the Force inside you now: what is it?" He pushed her so she fell forward. She sat, stunned. Then she looked at him dazed and frightened: "I almost lost the Light."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "That is enough for today, apprentice."

"Thank you, Master Ren." 

Salute again, and he watched her walk away. She limped slightly, sweaty, disheveled, some residual anger still apparent in the brusque way she picked up her training sword on the way to the armory. He suddenly felt sorry for Master Luke. He smothered a pang of guilt with a flash of anger. 

**

When he made it to his quarters, she was hard at work in the study. He removed all his armor and washed; she'd landed a few good ones on him today, while he had held back because her anger was better than her fear, and her pain was a sensation he had trouble managing. It confused his own senses. _Who am I kidding? All her emotions confuse me._

He looked at the angry welts on his arms. He had been foolish, playing with her without his padded armor. He traced one red line with a finger and the flash of pain was unlike other welts he had received, unlike the lashes he had suffered under Snoke. A sensation best ignored. His hand dropped and he looked in the mirror: all he could see was that slash. He was a disfigured monster. 

He changed to his night pants and loose shirt, old and worn and grey now because these were his favorite. He walked to the door of his study. He had let their schedules sync and now he was unsure of himself, of how to act with someone there with him. In his rooms. In his life. 

_Why is she here?_ He asked himself again. The answer was in the Jedi text. In his study. He opened the door. 

She didn't immediately look up, her face intense in concentration. He walked towards his bookcase and she gave a little start, pulling her attention from the text book before her. Math. He hated math.

"I suppose I can stop now. My mind stopped working a little while ago anyway." She got up, picked up her books and stylus. She had an ugly bruise on her wrist where he had seized her. It was the shape and size of his thumb. On her bare arms he could see she had her own set of welts. She moved away and for a moment she passed before the light and her pale night shirt was too thin and too airy to properly shield her. He could almost see through it, her silhouette lithe but muscular. He turned away. 

Snoke was no longer there to control him. He had to do it himself. He forced himself to look at the books in the library, running his fingers along their spines, feeling her stare on him. 

_... beautiful._ A stray thought, like a whisper. He froze. For a moment he thought it was an echo of his own thought. It wasn't. He wrenched his attention back to the books, picked one, any one, and bid her goodnight. 

***

Back on Jakku, Rey had had to deal with men's advances occasionally. There were few humans, and even by human standards, she was scrawny and ugly; but sometimes, a visitor or a neighbor would notice her and get handsy and she'd have to fight him off. Sometimes an older male would make her all kinds of promises if she'd let him take care of her. Some boys had made her more interesting promises, and one evening curiosity had finally gotten the best of her; as they struggled in his little hut, hot and heavy with want, she had almost given in. But Rey had seen what happened to the girls that had given in to boys: they'd become pregnant, the boy disappeared within days, and their lives had become a living _hell_. Sometimes the baby died. The girls' haunted looks after that helped her stave off any would-be suitors. But her messing around with that boy had awoken some heat in her and she had learned to tame it herself. Life was joyless enough on Jakku, it didn't have to be completely devoid of all pleasures. It had been very lonely, though.

Kylo Ren was terribly lonely himself. It was a mystery to her how such a powerful, handsome man - she could admit it to herself - could be so alone. He was not a Jedi, and he was not a Sith. There were no stupid rules he could not transgress. In fact, as Supreme Leader, he could have any number of mistresses or wives or anyone he wanted. If he could kill and raze villages, he could certainly take any woman he wanted. He could just walk into her room right now and take her, she was certain she couldn't resist him. 

_That's an odd thought. Anyway, he gave you his word._

He'd plotted and planned this whole setup just to have her with him. Her, Rey the Scavenger of Jakku. Sure, she was Force-sensitive, but there were others like her in the Galaxy. 

_The Bond. The Force-Bond. That's why._ Now it was her turn to wonder why was the Force connecting them. Really wonder. 

_*Why is the Force connecting us ?*_ She sent him. She should use it more often. 

_*That's what I'd like to know*,_ came the startled response.

 _*How binding is it? How deep does it go, how long will it last?*_ A barrage of questions.

 _*Rey.*_ There was a softness to his voice. _*This is the Force.*_

**

Once she was asleep he was alone in his head again. The words in the book were beginning to swim before his eyes so he put it aside. He was restless, though, not quite ready for sleep. 

He felt a shift in his body. An awakening. He touched one of the fresh welts on his chest again. It tingled. There were other, deeper marks on his body, actual scars. Some he had won in battle. Most he had received from Snoke. Lashes crisscrossed his back from times he had disobeyed, or failed, or displeased his Master. And he never seemed to please his Master. 

Kylo Ren had learned to distance himself from his body. He had given it up to the Monster. He had learned to treat it like an object, like some beast of burden: feeding it, training it, washing it, training it again. After the first few years of apprenticeship, Snoke had tightened his grip on him and denied him even the simplest of pleasures. He had mocked him ruthlessly when women had found their way to his bed. He had policed his every action, breaching and forbidding any intimacy until Kylo had simply stopped caring for himself other than keeping the beast alive. 

Now Snoke was gone, and his body was his once again. He felt his blood rush as his breath and his heartbeat quickened. He felt heat rise between his legs and after a moment he touched it. It felt alien after all these years. He grabbed it, beat at it in a mechanical, efficient way, thinking he could be done with it quickly. After a few minutes, it went numb and he let it go. He was not doing what his body wanted. His body wanted _affection_. 

Kylo closed his eyes and listened to his breathing. He put his hand over his heart and felt it beating, strong and sure. He let his hands move over himself, to feel his muscles and his skeleton where it was close to the skin, hips, shoulders. He let the touches become caresses. He felt his scars, and he felt where his skin was still soft. He felt where it was bare, and where it was fuzzy, and where it was hairy. He touched his breast and felt his nipple tingle; he felt the space between his legs and the weight of his testicles, filled with a life that was being wasted. He brought his fingers to his face and smelled his own smell, and tasted his own taste.

When he took himself in hand again, it was with a gentle touch, like taming and rewarding an animal, his animal. He caressed himself, and this time the feeling was there. Instead of being separate from it, he let himself sink into his own body and finally there was pleasure. When he climaxed, it was a subdued thing, but it felt good and that was the only thing that really mattered. There was a flash of shame but he was done with that. He was thirty years old, a man. 


	4. Darkness rises, and Light to meet it

When Rey woke the next morning, she felt a softness through the Bond that had not been there before. The angry darkness on the other end had paled somewhat, as if some of the black had washed out. 

The welts still hurt this morning; she looked at them as she applied a bare minimum of balm on them, though she probably didn't need to be frugal. The bruise on her wrist was deep enough to need to wrap it. She knew he'd held back. He'd pushed her this way and that, hurting her enough so she'd take the session seriously, enough so she'd be frightened and instincts would kick in, then easing so she'd become frustrated, and then angry, and reach for the Other side of the Force. He'd eased again, just parrying, playing with her, until her strength flagged and then he'd pick up the pace again, starting the cycle all over again. Each time, she'd felt the Rage light her with fire until she almost believed she could defeat him. Every hit on him was a victory, even as she felt them on herself, though the connection was muted. Suddenly there was a flash back to the snowy forest and the memory brought a new viciousness out of her. Her vision dimmed and tinged with red.

He'd stopped her then. Just like that. Before she could understand what was happening, he'd taken her in his arms and whispered in her ear, then pushed her down. Surprised, she'd sat there. 

Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, had preserved her connection to the Light. That is what he needed from her: ' _Do not sacrifice everything just to defeat me_ '.

Darkness called to Light. 

Light called to Darkness. 

_"Darkness rises, and Light to meet it",_ had said the Monster seated on the throne. Balance. She'd read a passage on such balance in the Force. 

She crossed into the study. Opened a book. In the margin of one of the pages on Master-Padawan relationships, there was a note: _Balanced_ _Dyad? See Sith?_

She marched to his door, excitedly knocking on it: "Master Ren, Master Ren!!" _Maker_ , she _hated_ calling him that. 

The door swung opened, a bleary-eyed Kylo looked at her through a tangle of dark hair covering half his face: "What is it? What's wrong?"

He was mostly naked, having just grabbed a sheet to cover himself, and doing it badly. She gasped. He was nothing but muscle. By the _Maker_ , how could a man have the right to be so _much_ man. She stepped back and nearly turned and ran back to her room. Instead, she looked away and yelled at him.

"I found something, look ! Uh, but get dressed first." He turned back and she got a flash of buttock. _A year like this. How the hell am I gonna get through a year like this? This is day four!_

When he came back, he was half dressed in breeches and undershirt, barefoot and his hair hastily tied in a sloppy bun. She wanted to comb it and make him a proper bun. Maybe tomorrow. 

"Caf?" he asked in a rough voice. She nodded, but shrugged. "I'll show you how to make it."

She watched him at the little counter. There was something visibly different about him this morning. He was supple? Graceful? Delicate? She looked at his profile and did the corner of his mouth seem just a little bit upturned? Then she saw three pink welts on his arm and her own pride blotted out that thought. 

Lucas appeared, right on time with her breakfast, and she called him to the study. He looked at them, looked at his Supreme Leader, and said nothing, but he seemed to take his cue from his Master. 

Rey thanked him went he left and sat at the study table. "Aren't you going to eat, Master Ren?" she asked him.

"Ok, the 'Master Ren' thing is not gonna do in private like this." 

"Do you want me to call you 'Supreme Leader' ? Supreme Leader Kylo Ren ?" She was sassy, " _The_ Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, then?"

He choked back laughter, surprising them both, "No! Call me..."

"Son of Darkness? Heir apparent to Lord Vader? Prince of Alderaan ?" She was pushing it.

His faced darkened. Those titles were a lot of expectations. 

"No! Call me... Kylo." 

"Will you break your fast with me, Kylo ?" 

_*I hope so.*_ The sudden thought hung between them, unspoken and unclaimed by either. 

The moment passed. "What did you want to show me so badly you were banging on my door to wake me up ?"

"Ah. Yes." She showed him the note in the margin of the Jedi text. 

He stared at the passage in disbelief. He'd read of the bond between Master and Apprentice sometimes growing particularly strong. His grandfather Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi had shared such a bond, until Darth Sidious had subverted it.

There were a few mentions of some in the Sith text as well. He'd had a bond like that with Snoke, as one-sided as it was. Until Rey had subverted it. 

The Bond between Rey the Scavenger and himself had not been forged by years of trust. Was it there before they'd even met? Was that the awakening he'd felt when he'd stepped on Jakku?

They weren't even on the same side of the Force.

_'Balanced Dyad.'_

He shared his thoughts with her, then dismissed her for her morning training when Lucas came for her. He had an idea which Sith text would hold relevant information; he would need to get them from Snoke's personal collection. 

*

"I see the Supreme Leader went easy on you." Teneth said when he saw her welts after she winced from a hold. 

"Better to not kill your apprentice. We weren't wearing padded tunics." She flashed a coy smile: "I got a few on him as well."

"Did you? I would have liked to see that. He usually trains with his Ren. Grueling training, that. Has to beat them every time to keep his title. Killed one three weeks ago. I don't think he was training, though."

"That was during the Madness." she said. There was a moment of profound _malaise_. 

"I shouldn't have mentioned it. Please don't say anything about it." Teneth looked mortified.

 _Kylo is being extra nice with me,_ she reminded herself, _not with anyone else_. "I won't. But don't hold back with me." She would push herself until she was as strong - with the help of the Force - as her Mentor. 

Her next class was with Josa. "Do you know how to swim ? It's excellent physical training."

"I'm from a desert planet, Josa."

"Right. We'll get right on that, then." 

"Is is really necessary? I mean..." she wasn't sure why, but the thought of being immersed in water frightened her. She hadn't even taken a bath yet. Her fear must have shown on her face, because Josa immediately said:

"Uh-huh, that's exactly why. Let's find you a proper suit." 

***

"These two systems we want to annex are already at war with each other, Supreme Leader", Hux announced when Kylo Ren arrived on the command bridge. "Both have ressources that are interesting to the First Order, so picking one and destroying the other would be wasteful."

Kylo turned to General Pryde to hear what the older man had to say on the situation. The two men, one young and ruthless, one old and ruthless, but more patient, were crucial to the proper functioning of the First Order. He was just a figurehead, albeit an impressive one. 

"What kind of ressources?" 

"Technical engineering for one, agricultural for the other. Sentient ressources, if you will." 

"Why are they at war?" 

"Some religious conflict."

Kylo sighed under his mask. No rare material, no territory, no livestock. They were in conflict over who told the best story. 

"Flood them with our propaganda. You know the one, the meta-physical one; throw in extra rewards to whoever preaches it best. Don't forget to adapt it to their species. Last time, we made enemies instead of allies when we presented them with our human-only version."

"But Supreme Leader, the Human species _is_ the Master Species", insisted Enric Pryde. 

Kylo thought for a moment before answering "You may think so, General Pryde, but we are a minority in this area, and like you said, we don't want to waste those _sentient_ ressources." 

The Resistance's strength was in their diversity. He remembered being surrounded with all these people from everywhere in the Galaxy. As hard as being Heir to the Throne had been, he'd felt a connexion to all of the systems. He'd wanted to just be part of it. But he could never be part of it now he had destroyed what held it together. 

Or could he?

"Find a way to unite them with us, Generals, or they will unite _against_ us."

 _Balance_.

***

Rey's reading comprehension was good, but her writing was that of a child. Her math was progressing nicely. She had balked at learning the history of the First Order at first, then realized that even if most of it was propaganda, it still held important information as to how the Order viewed itself and what was its aspirations. Its _mission_. 

Its name said it all: Order. The Fall of the Empire may have liberated all the systems, but the Rebellion had been unable, or unwilling, to police enough of the Galaxy to protect great swaths of it. Even as the Republic has coalesced out of the Chaos, its _laissez-faire_ attitude had angered many systems inhabited by civilizations used to stricter rules. There would always be people like that. The First Order had started in those systems. 

The problem with the First Order now was its human-centric policies. And its use of child-soldiers. Together, those policies were self-defeating. 

Rey looked outside the panoramic view-port. They were stationed near a planet that seemed as green as Takonada. She got up and pressed herself against the transpari-steel window, looking down at the water-pocked planet below. She suddenly missed breathing fresh air under an open sky.

Kylo came to quietly stand beside her. Neither said anything for a while. Then Rey broke the silence.

"Josa wants to teach me to swim. She tried today, I didn't even want to get into the water." 

"Didn't you swim in the Mirror Cave on Ahch-to ?"

"Not really, I barely managed to claw my way to the ledge. It was the most terrifying thing. I would avoid that experience at all cost."

"Hmm. Are you more afraid of water than of me?" He chuckled. 

"Now that you've caught me, you are treating me with respect. I trust your word." She looked back at the curve of the sky below.

"Swimming would be an essential skill to have on this planet." He motioned to the blue-green sphere. "I swim at least thrice a week when I'm ship-side. When in a lake or sea, you can see the bottom with plants and fish and stuff. It's almost like flying over a forest."

"Glad you like it. I'd like to just see the sky again." She turned to him. "Can I? We seem to be in a stable orbit around this planet right now."

"I suppose I can get a squadron to accompany you. Ah. Maybe not yet." He frowned at her.

"What?" She looked to what he was looking at: her still-bare wrist. "Why would I need it down there?"

"It's also a tracking device."

"I gave you my _word_." 

"You _accepted_ mine. No matter. It's mostly a question of bureaucracy and appearances. Protocol. " 

" _You_ could accompany me. We have this organic tracker between us now."

"You want _The_ Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren of the First Order, to accompany some scavenger from Jakku, planet-side, on a little walk? ", he said with a straight face. 

She slapped his arm "You think much of yourself. I happen to be _Rey_ of Jakku, Beacon of the Resistance, the Last of the Jedi warrior. " She straitened to make herself as tall as she could appear. "And, your _guest_." She added for good measure.

He looked down at her, putting his hand over his chin, a half-smile on his face and his eyes shinning. "How old are you, Rey of Jakku?" The question popped up unexpectedly.

"What? Uh, I could be twenty years standard. I'm not sure. Why?"

His face fell somewhat. So _young_! _Too_ young. "Nothing. I'll take you planet-side. We'll go now before supper. Bring your swim suit." 

"My suit...oh no." 

"Kylo time is training time. Or put the kriffing bracelet on and I'll dispatch a squadron for your little walk. You choose."

*

He choose a sandy bay with plenty of shade. It was late afternoon where they landed, so his exposed arms and shoulders wouldn't burn. The air was a little warm for him, but he didn't want her to be cold. She'd put the white dress over the swim suit. For the first half-hour, she just sat on the beach, looking at the sky and the birds and the trees. The air was full of unknown fragrances and there were strange little creatures and plants washed up on the shore; she collected seashells in her hands until she had to gather them in a fold of her skirts. 

Kylo went for a swim. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself such a pleasure. Snoke certainly had forbade him such a trivial activity, if it wasn't on-board ship, timed and measured. Every day that passed, he wondered how he had let himself be seduced by such a monster. He looked back at Rey walking cautiously in the surf, now kneeling and trying to catch some little creature. He swam back towards her, enjoying the full-body caress of the ocean. 

He was someone else with her. Maybe he was Ben. 

She was halfway soaked now, from taming the soft waves while digging in the sand for shellfish. She had taken the dress off so she could feel the sun directly on her skin. She looked happy. It moved him. He dove and saw there were some colorful fish around him. He loved straining against the water this way, suspended as if floating in the universe. He would share that with her.

She watched him rise out of the water. It was hard to remember what a monster he was. _What a beautiful monster_. He extended his hand to her. 

_Ah hell_ , she thought, and got up to take it. 

Once they were up to her breast, he crouched and told her to hang on to his back, one arm over and one under him. Then he pushed off and he carried her on his back while he swam. He was strong and sure and her fear faded as she relaxed against him. She could almost rest her head against his shoulder blade. She could feel his muscles rhythmically ply the waters, his breathing and heartbeat against her chest. His buttocks against her thighs. He slowed and warned her to hold her breath and close her eyes, and he plunged under the surf. 

The world became a magical soundscape for a brief instant before he surfaced again. "You okay?" he asked and she breathed _yes_! against his back. He dove again. 

The water stung her eyes a bit but it was clear. She was in a different world. The surface looked like a roiling, silver sky. The bottom was covered in little dunes and she saw the creatures living there, not just their pale, empty shells on the beach. She saw fish, colorful water-birds, swim close, curious but keeping a prudent distance. She held tightly onto him, for fear of falling off as if from a height. They surfaced again, so she could take a new breath. After a few times of these not-quite flights, he started towards the shore, keeping her head above water. When they reached waist high water he let her go, went back in while she walked back to their things on the beach.

Kylo Ren swam away his erection while he though of how he was being foolish and knew it, and didn't care anymore. He wasn't doing anything wrong, technically. He'd already captured the girl, offered her pretty much anything she needed, and he'd give her anything she wanted too. For his peace of mind, it was a good exchange. The physical intimacy...well, he'd given his word, he had self-control, and she was too young for him. She didn't even want him. It felt like a safe game he could engage in: enjoy her physical presence, keep a respectful distance. 

When he'd calmed down, he went back towards her. She wasn't there.

 _Fool!_ He ran up onto the beach, feeling for her in his mind; she was already a good distance away. 

_*Stop!*_ he commanded her, putting his weight behind his word. 

_*I can't! The thing's got my shoe!*_

Some animal had stolen her shoe. He laughed. _*Use the Force to stop it, Rey.*_ He felt silly. Then something ugly passed over the Bond and he stopped in his tracks. 

_*I killed it. Oh no.*_ She was distraught. 

He ran to her. By the time he reached her she had turned her distress into a rage and was beating at bushes around her. It lasted only a moment, but he saw himself at that age, as clearly as Luke must have seen him. She recovered her shoe and put it on, grumbling "stupid, stupid thing" then walked right passed him. 

_Balance_. Balanced _Dyad_. The Force had _put_ her in his life. _Why_ ?

She's _not_ your night-Light, Ben Solo. 

What am I to _her_? 

"Rey", he said when he caught up with her. "There will be Force-training every day from now on. I promise. Dark _and_ Light." Both Snoke and Luke must be turning in their galactic graves, but as he said it, he felt the Bond between them thrum a golden chord. 


	5. Apprentice

Back on board the Steadfast, he showered, donned his armor, then made for the Library. He would be strong enough to look at Snoke's personal notes now. Sure enough, there was a trove of documents just on their "relationship". He was loathe to take them, but there would be many answers in there, if he could find the courage to look at himself through the eyes of a monster. The recent entries would contain Snokes' recording of the last days of his life, including his awareness and understanding of the bond between them. 

Kylo thought of the immense effort it had taken him to fool the monster. He knew where he had found that strength. He gathered the documents and some additional Sith texts and made for his study. On his way there, he was intercepted by General Pryde. 

"Sir, I hope you had a pleasant swim, planet-side" the older man inquired.

"I did General Pryde. It was a change of scenery from the main pool on board."

"I'm sure the view was more delightful." Pryde was as perplexed as Hux as to his commander's relationship with the Resistance fighter. "I wanted to inform you that our researchers have found more common ground between the two systems we are hoping to annex. Both cultures indulge in the consumption of a - relatively benign - certain weed. Their main religions forbid it, of course. But our new "religion" could preach a more ... lenient gospel?"

Kylo Ren considered Pryde's proposal. The man was stiff and wiry, but age had certainly started to seep into his bones. "Relatively benign ?" he prompted.

"Normal users don't let it affect their work production and withdrawal isn't devastating as some other drugs we've come across. It's comparable to having an occasional glass of wine. An indulgence." Pryde's cold eyes were at odds with his soft tone. 

"An indulgence."

"Yes. That the First Order would allow them. For now. Unless it is discovered that the drug is more destructive than initially assessed. Then, we would have to take a different approach. Do you agree with this strategy? To rally both sides to our cause through their common weakness?" 

"We can see how it goes, certainly. A few months."

"And if that fails, Supreme Leader, we'll divide and conquer. The First Order will prevail." Kylo understood how this discussion was also a personal warning. 

"Of course, General Pryde. Order will prevail."

***

She was in the study, of course. Studying. She had already supped and her plate and things were pushed to the side. She had showered and her hair was caught in a towel. She was barefoot. There was music playing: that lonely composer again. Of all the music in his collection, she had found that which went straight to his heart. Did she know this genre was also a kind of waltz he had enjoyed dancing during official balls and diners?

"How are your studies coming along?" 

"I'd rather be running than this. The tutor, Mella... Krosyn ? says I could start with the engineering math in a couple of months. I'd rather have my hands in in the gunk, personally. I learn better that way than from text." 

"You can run anytime you want." He knew she was still resisting the bracelet. "Math is a language. You can repair all you like. Design needs a language you can communicate in." He put the datapad and holochrons on the table. 

"What are these?" She picked up one on Snoke's holocrons. He took it back from her hand.

"Sith texts, you won't understand them." He would go through Snoke's notes before he let her see them, if he did. He suspected some brutal assessments. "I'm hoping for explanations as to our... relationship."

"Is it so special, then?" Of course, she would imagine such a bond to be a normal ability for Force-users.

"Very." He had said that in a wistful tone that surprised even him. She looked at him sharply, eyebrow raised questioningly, trying to guess his mood.

"Then, it has a purpose." She got up. Walked to stand before the viewport again. "Why am I here, Kylo Ren?"

_You are a hostage we hold to ensure the Resistance's good behavior. You are an excuse to buy time while the Resistance regroups and recuperates its strength. You are the Light that keeps me not just from Darkness, but from madness. You are my better half._

_The Force has created us; yes, there must be a purpose._

"I could ask you the same thing."

"The Light is not enough." She picked up her things and went to her rooms. 

****

Snoke's notes:

 _I should have known Anakin's grandson could never be fully turned to the Dark. All of his incredible strength comes from the Light. Every sacrifice I have him endure, every act I have him commit, everything he does to try to impress me is always tainted by the hope I will be pleased with him. He never reaches for power for himself, he never crushes his enemy for his own_ pleasure. _His hunt for the Jedi has morphed into a sentiment of liberating them from their hubris._

_..._

_Just when I think I will finally destroy Luke Skywalker, it seems the Force itself resists the unbalance. It has sent some reinforcements in the form of a new Bearer of Light. It has sent it directly to my apprentice._

...

_Kylo Ren successfully passed his test by killing his father today, but it blew him wide open. The Light-bearer has wedged herself in that space._

He paused. His heart was beating wildly. 

_..._

_Ben Solo will self-destruct before he fully embraces the Dark. I should be grateful he will never be a menace to me, but even when I have him kill the son of Skywalker, I will be stuck with still another Skywalker in the galaxy. Two if I count both mother and son as Skywalkers._

_..._

_Maybe this new Light bearer can be used to control him?_

_..._

_There is an abnormally strong connection between them, though their opposite natures attract and repulse them in equal measure. They circle around each other like binary stars. I've only ever heard of such a connection once, but it would be extraordinary for it to happen now, to my apprentice._

_..._

_The girl has a core of Darkness! She could be cultivated just like Anakin was. Could I succeed were Darth Sidious could not ?_

_Ben Solo has managed to lure her into my presence. I am looking forward to seeing this Rey that has given my apprentice new hope._

_..._

After that, there was no more text about them. Snoke had failed to imagine that his apprentice might kill him for reasons other than to seize power. 

_"All of his incredible strength comes from the Light."_

There it was. Years of manipulation and "training" and in the end, Snoke had never fully turned him to the Dark. His connection to the Light was too strong. He was a failed Darksider and a corrupted Light-user. He had fallen...somewhere in between the two. Grey. 

" _They circle around each other like binary stars."_ Snoke and his Praetorian guards had come between them and been destroyed. What could they build together?

*

He had flashbacks more than nightmares that night. Shame filled him more than fear. Regret woke him a few times and he finally got up to cross the space to find her. He stood before her door for a few moments, tempted to force his way in and break their compact. Instead he went to the settee and sat looking out at the stars. 

After a moment, he heard her door open and she cautiously stepped out. Silently she padded over to him and gently put her hand on his shoulder. Something broke free in him and came very close to the surface.

He got up again. 

"I'm sorry if I woke you. If you'll excuse me, I will get on with my day and we will have a class this afternoon." He went back to his room and closed the door."

Rey sat in turn on the settee. " _I can feel the conflict in you_ " she'd told him, was it only six weeks ago? She had conflicts of her own. 

***

Rey enjoyed working with the Glaive. It was like a short staff with a blade on one end. Dual wielding with swords was much harder. Watching Teneth spin the blades around was impressive but she wondered how she would use her force abilities at the same time. They finished with the staff, and she defeated him several times. 

"I left the broken light-saber with General Organa. I don't have a Kyber crystal of my own", she told the arms-master. 

"Yes. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is aware of that. We have a few in storage." He looked at her for a moment. "One of them might agree to serve you."

When Josa came to work with her she was in a good mood. "I think you might be more interested in learning to swim, today?"

"You heard about that. Who else knows?" She felt a bit embarrassed by her little getaway with Ren, though she wasn't sure why.

"I do because he requested I continue the lessons."

She tried to put it off, but Josa eventually got her into the water. After a few basic techniques to keep Rey from sinking to the bottom of the pool, Josa tried to have her float on her back, holding her in her arms. Rey was beginning to feel better, more relaxed. Images of Kylo flashed before her eyes. The way he looked, coming out of the water. The way he looked at her. The way he had _always_ looked at her. 

_It's impossible,_ she reminded herself.

The way his body had moved under her as he swam. 

"Who else would know about our little outing?" she asked Josa.

"Some of his staff, I suppose. Anyone else who knows will be quite discreet about the Supreme Leader's girlfriend."

"The Supreme Lea- I am _not_ his 'girlfriend'." 

_His muscular back._ Rey felt heat rise in her. 

They were alone in the pool. Rey holding on to Josa. Warm, muscular Josa, who was looking at her with an amused smile. Rey tightened her embrace, let her hand stray over Josa's back. Leaned her face closer to her. 

Josa stiffened for a moment, then relaxed. Rey read that as agreement and kissed her. The woman kissed back. 

By the time afternoon came around, both Rey and Kylo Ren were focused on what they had to do. Force-Push and Pull were explored until the variant Force-shield could be tackled. In the padded room, they could bounce each other off the walls with no injury until Rey laughed and Kylo decided to move them to the hard-floor training area where she also learned to resist a Force-Push after seeing stars a couple times. Once again he pushed her into Force-Rage until her vision became blood-tinged. Once again he had to physically stop her. 

"You have to learn to control this!" he almost yelled at her. 

"How can I control rage?!" she _did_ yell at him. The way he could push her around like that, then just shut her down! She had calmed somewhat, but the feel of power while enraged was ... potent. 

" _You_ did not lose your connection to the Light", she accused him, "what makes you think _I_ will?" 

"I am not sure _how_ I did not lose it, when I _should_ have." He saw again his Ren saber pierce his father's heart. He saw the light dim in his father's eyes as he fell over into the abyss. How he had been flooded with his father's love, instead of severed from it. He swayed and had to catch himself. "Do you really want to risk it ?"

Rey felt a tidal wave of guilt wash from Kylo Ren. She had seen him commit the act. Had felt terror mixed with rage rise in her at that moment. They must have Force-Bonded unconsciously, on a level so deep, only now did they realize it. She looked at him. 

"We must have ... traded something... in that moment."

"A Balanced Dyad" he murmured. 

Rey fell to her knees, tears spilling uncontrollably. "This is too much. Too fast. I don't want any of this. Why am I responsible for _you_?" she cried, and Kylo gathered her awkwardly, like a child. _For the same reason I am training the Last Light User_ , he thought. 


	6. Binary Stars

"Rey", he said when she pushed him away after a moment, "There's a purpose to all this."

"What purpose? We killed Snoke. Now you're Supreme Leader. Should we kill you?" she was only half-joking. 

He said nothing. She looked at him. He didn't know either. 

"Stupid Luke. Went and sacrificed himself like that. Now we need him, and he's gone." 

"Luke was a Jedi. That's what Jedi do. You would have done the same."

"Would I?" She paused. "I suppose I would have. But now it's just you and me, and the Force and the whole kriffing Galaxy."

"And the First Order, and the Resistance. And about a thousand other groups on one side or another." He got up. "Rey. There's a cease-fire in effect. We have a year to figure it out." He held his hand out to her. "Get up."

"You're still out there conquering and destroying systems" she accused as he pulled her up. She had put on the white bracelet. She looked away, embarrassed. 

He let her go. "I'm working on that. People still need a structure. Keep studying."

"I am." 

"Now let's go see those light-saber designs."

Rey expected hard technical drawings for the designs, with sharp lines and precise measurements but Kylo presented her instead with beautiful hand drawn sketches, with a focus on a soft, comfortable hand-grip and sleek lines. He showed her the staff-to-glaive concept he had been working on. 

"See, you can choose to light both ends or just one when you're in tight corners. The glaive will have a more concentrated beam of course." He explained, proudly showing off his skill.

She could see how it would work well with her fighting style. She could also use the unlit staff like a baton. 

"I thought of connecting two light-sabers into a staff but that means two kyber crystals for dual wielding. Could even make it a three-in-one with one short and one long saber. Your choice. We will build it together", he offered. 

She looked at the beautiful drawings again. She could almost feel the hilts fit in her hand, their balanced weight, their smooth hand grip. "These are beautiful" she finally said. "I didn't know you could draw like this."

"I haven't drawn in years. Snoke...wouldn't let me do anything that he didn't fully control."

"Why did you stay with him?"

There was a long moment's pause. "Because... he was stronger than me. At some point, I just believed I was the monster he was making me into."

"And now?" 

"Now?" He took her hand and placed it on his face, over the scar she had put there, and closed his eyes so he could better open his mind to her. 

Rey saw him with the Knights of Ren. The hunts, the destructions, the massacres. Other things. She saw Snoke reveling in the sacrifices but still punishing his apprentice because it was never enough. The blood and the offal. She pulled her hand back, horror clearly written on her face. 

"Now... you tell me." 

***

Sith texts were tortuous to translate. He would have to take notes to make sense of them later, as the syntax would wound phrases around and around each other like a nest of vipers. 

He worked at it every night for the next week. In between war councils - peace councils, he should call them, as he tried to find other ways to deal with conflicts in the Galaxy - and training his padawan/apprentice/better-half-in-the-Force, he would research the Sith text. His desk was becoming covered in notes and manuscripts and holocrons and datadisks. 

The Force-Dyad was a prophecy that dated so far back he would never find the origins for it. There was only one recorded occurrence of it existing, dating from the Age of the Old Republic: two opposed Force-users, Light and Dark, each a Jedi fallen to the Dark and come back again to save the other.

Darth Plagious and Darth Sidious had attempted to artificially create such a bond with no success. Sidious had also tried with his grandfather Anakin, then Luke, also with no success. It couldn't be faked. Those attempts had been uncomfortably close to his own life, until finally, he was part of one.

And then he found the prophecy itself: _“When the Force itself sickens, Light and Dark must split and combine.”_

 _Let the past die_ , he'd told her, _kill it if you have to._ Well, all the _Jedi-killer_ had accomplished was in pushing the Force to create a counter-balance to his destruction and _bind_ it to his very existence. He could no more kill the Light than he could kill himself. Than he could kill _her_. It was not _up_ to him. He was, in fact, responsible for preserving that Light. 

The mission of the First Order seemed pretty insignificant now. 

_*I found it*_ he sent her. But she was already asleep, dreaming. Dreaming something ... pleasant. 

For a moment, surprise froze him in his thoughts. Then curiosity got the better of him and he probed gently, listening in on her dream. That was a mistake. He heard her moan roughly and pulled back hastily. Or tried to. 

Kylo had a flash of her silhouette in her night-gown. A flash of her on the beach. The feel of her in his arms as he carried her, pressed against his back while he swam. Through the bond he felt her body immersed in water again, but this time there was kissing. He felt breasts pressed against his own, soft skin under his hands. Hands reaching down and further into the other. 

Something was strange. His body was strange. He felt a hand touch him and suddenly he opened his eyes in the dream and the woman he was kissing was not Rey. It was ... one of the trainers? Rey's trainer? But then...

He was connected to Rey's mind. To her body. He was inside her dream. And Rey was dreaming of kissing...Josa?

With a supreme effort Kylo wrenched his mind free. He got up, hard and swollen and hot, and made for the shower. He would _not_ toss Josa out an airlock. He would _not_ barge into his...his _protégée's_ room and make a scene. 

He would _not_ dip back into the Force-bond to see just how far things would go. He would not. He would NOT.

He _would_ relieve himself of this sudden rise in pressure though, that he would. YES.

After the first few minutes he gave up trying to think of anything but her. Rey was not a child. She was not a girl. She was a woman. With a woman's needs. And he had his own manly needs. It took him very little time to satisfy them and he actually laughed. It was a joke of Galactic proportions. 

***

All during the week that Kylo Ren was studying texts she couldn't understand, Rey explored the ship. It was even bigger than the wrecks on Jakku, but its layout was essentially the same. The engine rooms, the brigs, the parade square, the hangars, the kitchens and the messes, the troops' quarters, etc... all pretty much where she expected them to be; why improve a perfect design ?

Now she had access to the library, and it blew her away. The library was huge. _The Steadfast_ was a capital ship but also the Flagship of the First Order navy, at least until the _Supremacy_ was repaired, which would probably take years. 

She found the running track, but it was bland. She found the other gyms and there were some machines there she could use for strength training. She let her feet guide her to the swimming pools, but did not go in without her coach Josa. 

Josa was the reason she had put on the bracelet. She needed the freedom to see her outside training hours. They met in secret places, and snuck into secret passages until they found safe cubby-holes or maintenance spaces that Josa was amazed to discover. There they kissed and fondled and giggled until time became real again and they had to part. By the end of the week, things had reached a depth she had never experienced on Jakku. And by the end of the week, she realized she could not hide her relationship with Josa from Kylo Ren. 

One morning, as she was enjoying her breakfast, she saw him come in and make his caf and there was an embarrassed silence between them, as if he wanted to tell her something but was unable to pass some kind of barrier. After a moment, he asked:

"How are the swimming lessons, um, progressing?", he asked, not looking at her directly. 

"Huh...well. Good. Nicely ?" She was blushing but lying was impossible. 

He looked away, out the immense viewport. She realized he had become aware overnight. Her flush deepened. Of course, he would be more than aware.

"I guess... it's all good then." They both seemed relieved at that. 

When he spoke again he told her of his findings on the Force-Bond between them and what it meant to be a Dyad in the Force. 

"We have to restore the Jedi _and_ the Sith?" she frowned. Neither of them were either, really. Kylo was a fallen Jedi, not a Sith. Master Snoke was a Dark side user, and that meant knowledge of Sith mysteries, but was not a Sith himself. So Rey was... a Padawan to fallen Jedi. 

"No. I think it really means just knowing how to use the Force from both the Light and the Dark sides. Or preserving that knowledge. And...passing it on?" 

"Wow. That's some responsibility. So much for letting old things die."

"Maybe it means we have the possibility of ... " He took a deep breath. "You and I, we can create something new." He got up excitedly, walking the open space rapidly, gesturing with his hands as he thought of a plan.

"We have a task much larger than the First Order. We could travel in search of other Force-sensitives - for sure there must be hundreds out there - Sensitives who have this power but don't know how to use it. We could teach them how. And we could do it without trapping them in one ideology or another at odds with each other. One that would set them free!"

She had a vivid flashback of his proposal on the edge of the precipice in the snowy forest on StarKiller base, moments before she had become enraged , slashed open his face and left him for dead on the ground. 

The Force had opened the ground at her feet before she could deal the killing blow. But she had seen the look in his eyes. If she had accepted, Snoke's apprentice would have run away with her right there and then. 

She imagined it for a moment. Two crazy kids living like gypsies, running from the First Order with a group of children following them everywhere as they preached a new religion. She had a sudden flash of some of the children being her own. 

"Ben", she said, and the name startled him, "We should be ready before we embark on such a journey. We should prepare. We made promises, we have to keep them."

"Promises." He saw her vision. "Right. We will prepare." 


	7. Nightmares and how to kill them.

Rey immensely enjoyed stopping blaster bolts. She could hold three simultaneously, but the effort left her too vulnerable to other attacks. The speed with which she learned things made Kylo a little cross, but the Force-bond gave her an access to his knowledge, so he couldn't complain. It meant that his hard work was doubly paying off.

It was getting close to the time to teach her Force-Choke, and that was a conundrum. Unlike him, Rey refused to choke some random trooper for practice. He contemplated letting her practice on _him_ , but for all the twists and turns his mind had followed while under Snoke's influence, he was unsure what consequences letting Rey choke him might have; she still had trouble coming out of the Rage. He'd been having nightmares where she choked him; they were some of his favorites. 

He still had his other terrible nightmares, if less often and in a muted form, and if he got up she would come sit with him, and rub his back until _something_ rose to the surface and threatened to rush out; that felt worse than the dreams, so he would get up or go back to bed. 

One night during her second month on board _the Steadfast_ , Rey woke to the feeling of Kylo having one of the more terrifying ones. She turned towards him, sending him calming thoughts, sometimes that worked. This was not one of those times. 

It was the strange heart of their pact, that she would soothe the Monster in exchange for all the knowledge she wanted and needed. One she had been unable to explain to anyone but Leia on their rare communications. She couldn't even tell Josa it was the reason they never slept together.

She got up and padded to the study, expecting to see him there, but he had not come out of his rooms. She could feel this one was particularly grueling if he was unable to wake from it. She went to his door. On a whim, she tried the handle. 

The door was unlocked. Mistake? Intentional? She would ask him tomorrow. Right now the Supreme Leader was jerking under his tormentor's touch, and she had work to do to break him free. She walked straight to his bed. She didn't pay much attention to his surroundings other than to notice he kept it immaculate and only a bare minimum of belongings were present. The shared study was the room he had most invested.

She saw him on his bed, curled on his side, his back bare and his covers tangled around his legs. His head was buried in his arms and his hair covered his face. His arms clenched and un-clenched as if he was warding blows to his head. His breath was strained. A whimper escaped him.

She sat beside him. She had not actually seen him like this before. For a moment she feared she might startle him and provoque a violent reaction, but her heart went out to him instead and she reached and put her hand on his shoulder.

He was cool and damp to the touch. She felt a ridge under her palm; in the dim light of the star they were circling she saw it was one of his scars. She traced it, gently at first, then firmly, feeling some of the pain contained in it. Through a firmer touch, it felt like she was drawing some of the pain out, along with some memory. That one was definitely one of Snoke's marks on him. He had disobeyed an order. She withdrew her hand to have a good look at his back: there were at least two dozen prominent scars like this one. He whimpered again and she reached to pull down his arm so she could find his face. On his arm was a mark left by a Ren: he had almost lost that combat. She breathed hushed soothing tones to him, and he started to relax somewhat. 

She brushed the rich tangle of dark hair away from his face, uncovering the beautiful monster. She put her hand on the disfiguring scar and let her feelings reach for his; a mixture of awe and fear and respect, as well as hope, rose to the surface of that scar. She was curious now; she gently turned him onto his back. The scar reached all down his neck to his breast. There was an odd satisfaction to it, as if he was proud to bear it. He had survived the touch of some being of Light. He carried with him a memory of her Darkness. The same feelings came from the stab on his left shoulder. 

Then she saw the scar from Chewie's bowcaster. Her hand hovered over it. 

He woke, startled, and Force-pushed her across the room. She hit the wall and fell, crumpled and dazed at the foot of it. He got up, tall and naked and angry and confused all at once, then he covered himself and walked over to crouch to see if she was alright. 

"Rey", he said, his voice gruff, "are you alright?" she nodded. Then she frowned at him.

"If this is why you keep me so close, you'll have to let me in there." She got up. 

He straightened, walked to the viewport, came back. 

"I'm not ready."

She nodded again. 

"Then lock your door."

***

He brought the small pouch of Kyber Crystals he'd collected over the years, six in all. He hadn't personally killed all the Jedi they had belonged to; most had been found in the possession of sympathizers or cult priests like San Tekka. None of them wanted Rey. It was an unexpected setback. The housing she had decided on was ready, she was ready, all they needed was a crystal. 

"Does this mean I'm not good enough?" Rey full of self-doubt was a rare sight. 

"You're the other half of the Dyad, Rey. It could actually mean they feel _they're_ the ones not good enough" Kylo offered as an explanation. Would they have to travel to a source-planet to get her her own?

"What do I do now?"

"Study the texts on how to get one. There are rituals ..." he had a flashback of his own quest, "a test to pass. Or, we can retrieve the one you _did_ have, Anakin Skywalker's." The concession tore at him, but Rey was the future...Skywalkers were the past.

She nodded. Then she thought of something: "Didn't Snoke have a light-saber ?" 

"Snoke? How could you want Snoke's ?" That was a surprise. "He never used it." Snoke's arthritis made wielding his saber an exercice he deeply regretted afterwards. " _I_ was his light-saber, you could say." 

"But he did have one?" Rey thought of the triumph of wielding her enemy's saber, of re-purposing it to serve the Light. 

"He did, but it's a bled crystal. You can't use that." Kylo got up from the stool before the workbench. He was uncomfortable, contradicting feelings roiling through him. 

"Why not? What does "bled" mean ?" She frowned at his discomfort.

"It's what colors the crystal, it's how a Dark user makes it obey him" he told her gruffly. 

"Is that what you did? Wait, had your own crystal rejected you ?" shock bloomed on her face. 

_Maker_! Was he going to have to explain every part of his life to her? All he had asked for was a companion to stave away the nightmares. He had offered her training and a cease-fire - he'd offered her to _rule the galaxy_ , for Kriff's sake - and she kept asking him to ... to confront his life, all the time! 

"Yes! Yes I did, and yes it did!" Anger rose in him, black and hot. He grasped his lightsaber, felt it's comforting weight. "I'm going to train. With the Ren. You, stay here and either organize a meeting with ... General Organa, or find out where there might be sources left."

"Actually, I'd like to come train with you, and the Ren."

"What?! No. NO." He stormed out. 

She followed. Now she had the bracelet, she could follow him almost anywhere. He stopped in the corridor, looking down at her frustrated face. There were troopers just a few meters away. If she made a scene before witnesses it would weaken his position even more. He walked to their usual training arena. 

When Teneth and Josa saw them come in, both snapped to attention. "Teneth, get this...woman an elecro-staff" he barked. "Josa, get her proper protective gear. The Jedi wants to play with the Knights of Ren."

Rey saw both trainers gasp in shock, looking at their Supreme Leader as if hoping he was joking. When they saw he wasn't, they ran to get the requested equipment. He called for his Knights.

 _Today, we will see if the Force itself will protect Rey from losing her Light_. He mused. _If it does...a Knight will die. If it doesn't...then none of it makes any sense anymore and the First Order will have a new Supreme Leader._

Teneth and Josa hurried back and had her ready by the time the Ren showed up.

He motioned the trainer Josa to him. She approached cautiously; the fear of discovery had been replaced by the responsibility of absolute discretion. He _tolerated_ their relationship. "See if General Hux or Pryde, or anyone else, knows where Snoke's light-saber might have been stashed. Go now." She ran off again.

"You, wait." he motioned to Rey. She would at least watch first to get a notion of the viciousness required for the fight.

He stretched and jumped in place to loosen the stiffness and focus his anger. He turned to his Ren. "Who wants to play first?" Vicrul moved forward. 

"You want to impress your bitch, today?" Vicrul was an obnoxious opponent who loved to taunt his prey. He was as much a test of character as of strength. "Vicrul", he warned, "not in front of the Lady."

"Lady, is it? Me and the boys have a bet going that she'll have you pegged by the end of the month." Kylo was shocked, that was a attack even he could not parry. Sure enough, Vicrul lunged and the blow landed. Ap'lek sniggered. Kylo stepped back and Rage took him in an instant. 

They exchanged blows for a few minutes. Vicrul had used his advantage over Kylo right from the start, thought it was only luck he had not succeeded in incapacitating him. When Kylo felt warmed up enough, he crouched low, swept the man's feet from under him and Forced-Pushed him into a wall, holding him there. "Pegging, Vicrul? Is _that_ your fantasy ? Yield." 

"I yield."

"Yes you do. Next." 

Ushar readied himself. Sparring with Ushar was always hard work, the man weighting half again as much as he did, but he lacked ambition to ascend to the position of Master. Kylo used Force-shield to parry as much as his crazy sword, hoping Rey was watching how he positioned himself to absorb the hits. Then a deft kick to the head brought the mountainous man down. He asked for the elecro-staff, trading with Rey.

 _*I'm gonna use this so you get some pointers*_ he thought at her, opening their bond.

_*Isn't that cheating?*_

_*You think they won't cheat? They're Force-sensitives themselves, even if they're brutes with it_ * He called for the next Ren.

Trudgen didn't even wait for a salute. He was more agile than Ushar, so Kylo really had a hard time keeping up. He hit Kylo's already wounded arm a couple times before the Master got the hang of the staff. It took some tries, but Kylo managed to wedge it between two armor plates and activate the charge, shocking the trophy collector into submission. 

Rey was getting excited. She activated Ren's sword and swung it around to get its balance, and everyone looked at her for a moment before Cardo blasted Kylo ten paces away with his arm canon. He got up. Cardo blasted again but he was ready. The blast bounced back from the shield he put up and Cardo flew into the wall behind him. He was knocked unconscious. 

_*That was quick*_

_*Hush. Ap'lek_ **will** _try to kill me*_

They circled each other. "Does the title of Master come with the woman?" Ap'lek also liked to tease. "Good luck with that" Kylo replied, unfazed. He felt Rey's smoldering anticipation flamme up. 

"Such a scrawny thing, I bet I'll feel her bones when I split her open." Kylo stepped back. Rey was fired up. "Why don't I let you two work it out right now." He withdrew.

Ap'lek was surprised by the change of plan. Surely the Master of the Ren didn't mean for him to fight the girl now?

He did.

Gone were the days of wanton destruction and punishing lashes under Master Snoke. He was the Master now. And his a _pprentice_ wanted testing.

Kylo walked over to Rey. She was fearless. Suddenly, he wanted to kiss her. "Someone will die today" he told her quietly instead. She nodded. Something else wanted to be said but it was impossible, so he suppressed it. 

He handed the vibro-staff to her. "Since you didn't wait to have your own Light-staff, your weapon will be accessory. You will have to rely on your use of the Force. Rey-" He took her arm and gripped it, hard enough to hurt her, "I won't be pulling you out of the Rage. You either control it, or it's all over."

Her eyes narrowed, he moved back. 

_*Ap'lek is strong but heavy and he relies on tricking his opponent into making a mistake. Parry. Wait him out.*_

Now Rey and Ap'lek circled each other, but it was clear Ap'lek wouldn't survive unless he yielded to the girl. They exchanged a few lunges and parries, testing their strengths before truly engaging. His long axe had the same reach as her staff, but were he relied on brute force, she relied on precision to hit him in the joint of his shoulder, weakening his grip. His answering blow rang all through her arm and shoulder and nearly numbed her.

"So, little girl, once I beat you, and I beat the girly-man after that, you can be sure I won't be making you wait."

"Wait for what? Wait for me to peg you ? It seems a hot bet between you boys." Trudgen laughed out loud, Kylo let out a shocked gasp. Ap'lek roared and rained a rabid succession of blows on the Force-Shield she put up. 

Every hit she felt was fueled by a rage inside Ap'lek so atavistic she felt inside his mind. Everything about him was domination and submission, victory and the spoils of victory, access to the bodies of the defeated, or the defeated's loved ones. Ap'lek raped, and loved to rape. For a moment, Rey heard the cries of his victims inside her head, smelled the urine of their fear and blood of their wounds, the struggle as they were all broken by Ap'lek lust for power. There was a fleeting moment of near-panic as her eyes widened in horror. 

Teneth and Kylo Ren held each other back. She could do it. And then...

A shock-wave - so powerful it distorted the air - hit Ap'lek squarely across the chest, throwing him so hard against the wall they heard multiple bones snap. It hit Trudgen as well, but to a lesser extend, only knocking him back. 

Kylo looked to Teneth: "Get out of here! Get a medic, I'll calm her down." 

_*Wow-*_ he started towards her, but she was not done. She threw the staff down, reached for Kylo's crazy Ren. It flew into her hand with a satisfying _slap!_ and she ignited it in the same motion. She cut red circles through the air as she made her way to Vicrul who made the mistake of getting back up and leer at her. She slashed at him, spinning in a dance of fire, one hit cutting through his Scythe's handle, the next hit opening his tunic from collar to crotch. He tackled her directly, holding her sword arm and pushing her down but he was no match for her Force. She picked him up in a Force-grip and stood up, holding him by the throat and squeezing the airway shut. Rey knew he was the other Knight who liked to "play with the girls" after a raid. Right now, she thought she could just pop his head right off. She crushed his larynx and dropped him. She turned to Trudgen; he got back down and prostrated himself immediately. 

Kylo Ren watched as she killed his Knights, helpless to save them. She eyed each in turn, ignoring those on the ground. Then of course, she turned on him. 

*You let them do those things ?* She picked him up, her eyes gold and blood. He felt her pressing his airway.

If she killed him, so be it. 

_*I did. I don't anymore.*_

_*Since when?*_

_*Since you.*_

_*And did you ?*_

_*No. Not me. I won't*_

_*Why not ?*_

_*Because... mom.*_ Leia's Light had stayed with him. 

That shook her; she released him. She took one step forward and fell to the floor, boneless and exhausted. He stumbled to her, sat down and gathered her in his arms. 

"What ... what's pegging?" she asked before she passed out. 

He laughed.


	8. That Girl

Only three Knights of Ren were left. Rey had technically won the challenge to be the Master Ren. She had, at the very least, earned her place in their ranks and as he carried her back to her rooms, with Josa trailing behind, he thought of all the implications of this exercice. He started the bath and let Josa undress her and put her in it. She had pissed herself sometime during her combat before that terror ignited the fiercest Rage he had ever seen. He left them to go shower and change himself. He had ugly bruises on his throat and a gash on his right arm.

Hux arrived soon after, Snoke's saber in his hand and his pale face full of questions.

"That _girl_ killed two of your Knights?" He was incredulous. He looked at the gold and red Light-saber on the study table with regret.

"That _girl_ would kick your ass. I should set you up to spar with her." Kylo answered, "I'm sure she'd enjoy that very much. Unfortunately, I need your disciplined mind too much to waste you that way.

"Any new systems want to join us recently? Have we been proving our worth to the ones that did ?" Their relaxed management style meant they were becoming a protective force rather than a conquering one. News of Snoke's demise had finally reached all the galaxy systems by now, after three months. 

"It's costing us, but we're still in the black for now. Diversifying our troops is a slow process, some of the old guard is still obsessed with the concept of a "Master Species' ".

"Snoke wasn't even Human. He was just using our stupid pride to get us to kill anyone around us. Some Order we were." 

"Speaking of Snoke..." Hux motioned to the ugly thing before them. "I don't understand how a Jedi could use a red saber?"

"I told you she's not quite a Jedi, like I'm not quite a Sith. Anyway, she won't use it as it is now." He picked up the unwieldy hilt. 

"Yes, I can see how the housing has to be rebuilt to fit into her hands. It's even too big for yours, I dare say." 

"You should try his shoes. Or his gold _lamé_ slippers. Maker! How the kriff did I get sucked into his shit. Anyway, it's not just the housing. There's a way to 'heal' a Kyber crystal."

Hux looked at him for a long moment. "yes, I suppose it will be good practice for her to do that."

Kylo looked out the starport. "Hux", he said, "thank you for not trying to have me assassinated anymore."

"You have the g- that Rey to thank for that."

**

He had taken a huge gamble, and he had been right. Surprisingly, it was the Light inside him that had lit the path for her to come back. He suspected the same thing about their respective Darkness. He would never be truly 'pure'. 

There was a knock at his door. It was Josa. 

"Supreme Leader, our guest is resting now. She has a few bruises, but I suspect the real wounds are invisible." 

"They're not invisible to _me_ , Josa." He gave her a meaningful look then said: "Thank you for taking care of Rey while I get my shit together."

It sounded like simple gratitude, but it reminded her that their arrangement was _temporary_. "Yes sir. Thank you sir. Should I go?"

"You can stay with her, but be aware that the connection between her and I goes deep." 

Josa hesitated before answering in a soft voice; "yes Sir, I'm aware of that."

**

When he woke because Rey was having a nightmare, he thought this would be the time he would pay her back for the comfort she had given him so far, maybe be forgiven for the Force-push that time. But by the time he made it to her door he realized she was not alone. Josa had decided to stay the night after all. He went back to his room as he felt her calm down, and then...

And then some very tender feelings weaved their way through the bond. 

He knew this was going to happen eventually. He'd managed to block off her dreams, or send her planet-side on some errand - with her companion - or find himself in another part of the ship, or training, when he figured what their schedule was. But they had never been together in such proximity, and he was tired.

* _Rey..._ * he warned her. * _I'm right here...I can feel you_.*

* _Yes_ *, she sighed. Languorously, * _we are a Dyad_.*

She accepted him into her intimacy. He could try to fight it. Or he could lay down and let it happen; to her, to him. Like binary stars, they spun around each other, never apart, never touching. He stripped and let his body float in a space between them, until it was her body. He let himself be caressed by a lover's hands, a lover's mouth, a lover's tongue, and in turn he reached for the affection that was offered freely. He rediscovered things he had forgotten, and discovered new things; about a woman's body, about his body. About Rey's body. It was a strange thing, the way he was brought to climax again and again, like waves on an ocean of pleasure, each wave bigger than the last, until finally there was calm again.

He lay there, a disheveled, sweaty mess, exhausted and spent, and he fell into a sleep like death. 

***

"General Organa; I hope you are well." He took off his mask. It was a relic, now; he would not replace the missing Knights of Ren. He saw his mother's eyes shine and gave her a hint of a reassuring smile, quickly hidden. "I would inform you that our 'guest' Rey of Jakku has passed an important test and has requested some time to process the success and recuperate. She will be arriving to the coordinates you give me with a shipment of parts to continue her engineering training, as ... homework. She will be accompanied by her personal trainer and one of my Generals. 

"In exchange, we demand you send us someone dependable we could work with for our joint mission." There. That was simple enough. 

"Kylo _Ben_ " It was cheap, but she was certainly going to slip her son's name in there, and she was _not_ going to call him by a title she didn't recognize, "We will retrieve our _ambassador_ " - why not? Rey was doing the work, after all - "and our interim will bring coordinates of two crime syndicates that have been causing great distress in the sectors you occupy, and one sector that is friendly to us. Here are the coordinates for the meeting place, in neutral territory. See you in two days, son." And Leia signed off before he could comment on that last one. 

A military organization like the First Order, and like the Empire before that, was an extremely slow ship to turn around. As much as Leia wanted Ben to come home to her, he was not a boy and he had experience with so many aspects of the responsibilities he had taken on he really just needed to stay were he was. As much as he had hated being dragged to every talk and negotiation she had attended or presided, he had picked up some of the language of diplomacy and seen many facets of that world. As much as he had hated being sent to Luke's Jedi Academy, he had mastered his abilities.

It was obvious he had suffered under Snoke's yoke, but he had learned a few things that way too. Even the summers spent looking for trouble with his scoundrel of a father had taught him a thing or two about improvising his way out of trouble, and of understanding the motifs his contacts might have for dealing with him. It had been his suggestion that they find common ground to defuse the conflict between them. Slavery was a matter they agreed on. 

So Rey had passed a Sith test and come out a Jedi. At least, that was her understanding. It also sounded like the opposite was true. He had mentioned something about being part of a "Dyad in the Force", but the only knowledge she had of this involved the Sith; an ominous association.

Larma D'Acy had volunteered for the exchange. She had proper military experience and Ben would recognize her as the dependable person he needed. She would be patient with the more intolerant people he still had under his command. 

**

Kylo was having a hard time deciding who of Hux or Pryde to send: Pryde was mellowing out with age, but he had held the "Master Species" belief since before Ren had been born. Hux was a passionate one who could become quite fanatical, but he was an optimist at heart. Maybe Leia could present him with someone that would make him feel confident enough to start a new life with. 

And Rey. He needed time apart from Rey.

For the past week he had woken three times from his nightmare and walked to the settee as had become habitual, but her comforting touch had turned to caresses that aroused him, exchanging one problem for another. It had taken every ounce of his will not to kiss her, though she was pressed right close to him and firmly kneading his back and shoulders. The second time, he'd excused himself and returned to his bed to find some relief, but she had stayed in his mind and he had shared himself with her. Then he had felt foolish.

The third time, he had tried a different approach and the thing that always seemed to rise to the surface finally broke through. He cried.

He had been dreaming of his father. He fell down to his knees and she gathered as much as she could of his body into her lap. She rubbed his back in long circular motions, making soothing sounds and pushing the dark tangles out of his face; her hands cool on his burning skin. She leaned forward over him and enfolded him in warm flesh, an armor of womanhood. 

Kylo Ren was dying. Ben Solo was pushing through the cloak of Darkness. He had thought to let his old self ease out, but it would not be painless. There was tearing. She must have held him this way for the better part of an hour while he alternately sobbed uncontrollably, or fell into a kind of stupor. Finally he felt her shift under his weight and realized she must be aching or numb, if his own knees and protesting ankles were any indication. He managed to raise himself up to sit beside her. 

"I- I don't know what happened, I'm-"

"Don't even think to apologize, Ben Solo. This is why I'm here."

It was. 

**

Rey had been surprised by his proposal to send her "home" for a few weeks, but saw there was no arguing. 

Kylo Ben was exhausted by the change. He wanted to conquer his nightmares himself for a while, to not depend on her so much. Theirs was a temporary arrangement, he reminded her. 

"It's for you too", he'd told her, "You held the Dark and you came back, but it cost you. You need to..." He took her hand briefly, dropped it. 

"...replenish the source?" she finished for him. 

"Yeah. Replenish the source." 

She was allowed to take the Jedi texts and the Kyber crystal freed from Snoke's saber to study. The thing lay in her palm, hot and angry like a wound. She tucked it into her breast band, so it could be near her heart. She had a feeling she would have to tame it. 

_I am the Tamer of Beasts, the Healer of wounds_ , she thought. 

*

"There's no way all this equipment is just "homework'", Rose said when she saw the container full of parts and tools that had been shipped with Rey. "And this is medical equipment. Wait, those are engineering textbooks! Ah, no blueprints of the First Order ships and weapons. He's not completely crazy." 

Finn and Poe and the others had hugged her tightly and greeted Josa, but now they all stood a little ways apart. Her months in close proximity to Kylo Ren had changed her as well, and as she tried to explain the importance of the Force that bound them together, all they understood was that she was not "just Rey" from Jakku. 

On the tarmac, a tall man in Dark armor stood before the short, squat woman who had given him life. She held her hand to him, and he took it, squeezed it briefly, let it go.

"Son- ", she started,

"Mom, I have a lot of work to do..." He trembled briefly, like when he had one of his fevers as a child. He straightened. "This is General Enric Pryde. He's here to better understand what the Resistance wants, why it exists, and that it's not just made up of thieves, traitors and murderers." He turned to his General: "Is that understood, Enric ?"

"Yes, Supreme Leader. You've made that very clear. Elaborate strategies to destroy the crime syndicates responsible for the worst of the misery in our systems." He turned to Leia. "General Organa, it would be my pleasure." They shook hands. 

"I'll be with you shortly, Enric. May I call you Enric?" The older man nodded. "I would have a private word with my- guest. Connix, show the man to his quarters, please. And bring D'Acy."

"What happened?" Leia looked at his face. The slash told a story she had yet to hear from him.

"Leia, I don't think I could just tell you everything here, like this. Let's just say...the Force itself sent me Rey so I could kill Snoke."

"Just like Anakin Skywalker was destined to kill Palpatine." 

He startled, _yes, something like that._

"But to be sure, it sent you Rey as 'reinforcements'." Leia finished. The Chosen One had failed at his task for a whole generation's time. 

"Yes. Well, that's a simple way to put it. There's more of course", he fell silent.

There was something in his tone. "More...? " 

"More than I can handle right now. More than I can ask for."

"So you need some time to sort your feelings for her." He shook his head. 

"No. I think I know how I feel now." Here, standing before his mother, Ben Solo could at least admit it to himself: _he loved Rey of Jakku_. "So, I have work to do."

"And who will be the judge of that... work?" He could be terribly hard on himself. Too hard. "Ben, listen, you're doing good now, okay? Just keep it up."

Commander Larma D'Acy arrived with her bags. She looked at the grown man she had briefly known as a sullen teenager. She had the intelligence for the missions they were planning out. She would also try to estimate the amount of discontent within the First Order troops: there had to be a lot more like Finn. If there was a mutiny, she would be the first to know. She had accepted the risk nonetheless. She would work with General Hux. The young man had fired on the Hosnian system, under Supreme Leader Snoke's command: had he learned anything from that destruction? 

"Sir. Glad to meet you." She held her hand out to him, and he shook it, careful not to hurt her. "How do I address you?"

That was an enigma. Supreme Leader was a bit much. Kylo Ren felt like a farce right now. He wasn't a General. He wasn't quite ready for Ben Solo yet, and his armies would not appreciate such a drastic change in command. 

"Leader Kylo will do, Commander." For now. 

The exchange of bagage and personnel was done. The shuttle was loaded up. It was time to go. He clasped his mother's hand and turned to leave. 

_She_ ran up the ramp just before it closed, went straight to him. Hugged him tightly, then turned back and ran home. 


	9. Quid Pro Quo

Larma D'Acy sat in one of the passenger seats, with two troopers. Leia's wayward son was in the cockpit, discussing something with the pilot. She'd seen the Last Jedi run up to him to hug him goodbye. Whatever those two had going, it was unclear between them. He had stood there awkwardly, surprised, and had given her a light pat on the back before she let him go and ran away. Not a word had been exchanged. He had watched her go for a moment before turning back and had blushed and put his helmet on when he saw she had seen them. He stomped into the cockpit, straightening shoulders that were slumped a second ago. When he passed, the troopers looked at each other. They removed their helmets to reveal two young people, of ordinary look and build. "You think he'll get the girl?" one murmured to the other. "I think he's got her. Thing is, will she get him?" "Aye. He sure is putting up a fight."

They both noticed Larma at the same time, greeted her. She returned the greeting and introduced herself. She was in the belly of the Beast now, just as the Beast was undergoing profound changes. 

*

Leia listened to Rey go on and on about all the things she'd been learning and training for over the past three months. The girl was babbling; it was clear she was upset at leaving Kylo Ben - funny she calls him that - and even more upset at being upset.

"Rey", the older woman took her hand in hers, "you can't tell me three months of events in one hour. Calm down. Breathe."

Rey looked down at the floor, her brow creased in worry. "He needs me."

"Look. You didn't even know he existed until barely five months ago." Rey looked up at Leia's face at that. 

"I hadn't met him yet, but, I feel... I feel like he's always been there." She put her hand to her chest. "We're a Dyad in the Force, Leia."

"Ok, what does that mean? It's a Sith thing, isn't it?" Was her son entrapping Rey in some dark ritual? That seemed extreme, even for him. She saw again his face when he spoke of the young woman. No, his feelings were genuine, if unexpressed. 

Rey went on to explain what they had read and experienced of the Bond between them. The things she could safely share, anyway. "The Sith were desperate to create an artificial Dyad between Master and Apprentice. But they failed. Ben and I...we're the real thing." It still sounded ludicrous. 

"So what happens when the year is out?"

"Leia, Ben won't be Supreme Leader when the year is out. That's what he's working on from within the First Order, with you."

Leia was starting to see it; still: "And then?"

"And then, we'll found a school for the Force-sensitives, so they can train their abilities!" It seemed like the only light at the end of a very dark path. 

"I see. Keep the balance in the Force. And how do you feel about sharing your ... destiny with Kylo Ben." It was harsh, but she wanted to know. 

"I don't know how much to share with him. With the Bond, the lines get blurred, it's hard to tell where I stop and where he starts. I'm just started on my journey and he's changing into someone else, someone no one really knows. And it gets _intense_. So incredibly intense."

Rey looked off into the distance, "I think maybe that's why he wanted me to go away for a little while." 

"He asked you? I thought it was the other way around." 

"He _told_ me. Oh, Leia" Rey finally broke down and let it out, "There's an attraction too. But it, it's _impossible_!"

"Ah." A black hole afraid to extinguish the only light left in the universe. And a bright star that wants to fall into and illuminate every last recess of that hole. Leia took Rey's hand in her own. "There's no hurry."

**

Enric Pryde was finally confronted with the most fundamental truth of the Galaxy: there was a diversity of worlds, cultures and beings no single species could ever hope to overcome. He walked around the base camp with Connix, saw pilots and mechanics, clercs and logistics staff, officers and maintenance crews of every sort and every color working together to actively resist the Order he had been trying to impose since the very beginning of his career under the Emperor Palpatine himself. In the end, the Dark Lord himself, Darth Vader, had turned against the Ideals they had all supported blindly.

And like Armitage Hux had told him before he had accepted this exchange of "guests", Snoke himself wasn't even human, and was destroying more humans in the process of destroying "others", than he was providing Order to the Galaxy. 

He forced himself to overcome his disgust, and his disdain, and meet with everyone he was presented to, shaking hands when possible, looking in the eye when possible, listening to their story and qualifications, introducing himself in exchange. Here was everything that was wrong with the Galaxy, and everything that was right. All the weaknesses working with all the strengths. 

When General Leia Organa, the daughter of Darth Vader, caught him up during his little tour, he was more than impressed with her ability to manage the diverse lot that had come to join her. 

"General. I'm a bit overwhelmed" he told her when they sat for a break. "I've only ever seen 'aliens' as targets in my cross-hairs. How to you keep them in line? "

"I don't have to, Enric. They don't come here to serve me. They come to serve their homelands, and agree to serve one another's in exchange."

He sat for a moment, watching an arm-less alien direct one that had too many arms in the repair of a badly beaten flight-droid. A human stood nearly, anxiously watching the trio while cleaning his fighter wing. 

"We provided you with the unifying purpose", the old general said to the other old general.

"I think some of your goals were to provide an organizing structure to combat the chaos in the aftermath of the Empire War?"

"You could say that. Humans need structure." 

"All life needs structure, _various_ structures. I think you forgot we weren't the only ones in the Galaxy. And I think you didn't learn the lessons from the fall of the Empire."

"So we found ourselves in the same situation, thirty-five years later, with a fallen Jedi killing the Head of the ruling Force. Only this time, he stayed on to try to steer the ship out of the storm."

"Will you help him? Not just as your job as one of his staff. I mean: do you understand the need for diversity ?" 

Pryde looked at the slug-like alien nodding as the spider-like alien closed the access hatch on the droid. It straightened, beeping excitedly and the Human rushed over and pat and hugged everyone involved. 

"We are more, together", he finally said. 

"Don't get me wrong, Enric. There are still assholes out there that need kicking. Slavers, drug traders, war profiteers. But you don't have to be part of those guys. It was not your goal."

***

Ben Solo had sent her away so he could be alone and of course that made him lonely again. While Rey was having her affair with Josa, and thankfully, there was enough distance between them he could barely feel her at all, he considered doing the same. Why not? Their relationship, as confusing and intimate as it was, wasn't physical, not directly anyway, so he could find someone to ... to comfort him too. 

He looked around the command Bridge. As Supreme Leader, he could just walk up to anyone on board and summon them to his chambers. No one could stop him. Some might even enjoy his attention. If he looked for it, he was certain there were a few officers on board who indeed would enthusiastically join him in his bed. 

Memories from a few years ago, General's wives and Political ruler's daughters vying for his attention, floated to the surface. He sighed. Snoke had been cruel about it, but Snoke had been right. The pleasures of the flesh were mere distractions. He wanted more. He wanted it all. And right now, he didn't deserve it. 

He met with Hux so they could plan their first raid. 

General Hux saw his Supreme Leader show up in the board room looking as haggard as he had four months ago. He obviously hadn't slept again. He signaled an aide to get some tea and a light snack for the Leader, certain he had not properly eaten either. Commander D'Acy sat beside him, taking him in. She looked at Hux questioningly. He shook his head; there wasn't anything else he could do. He pointed his chin at the surly man at the head of the table. Maybe she could help, not being under his command. After a moment, she nodded. 

She was an even-tempered woman who had a knack for picking out the safest tactic out of a handful of risky ones. First Order officers provided the basic plan, and the Commander proposed alternate tactics for every junction points. But of the things she proposed, one theme resurfaced again and again:

"See, at this point, if you had a [...] , they could just squeeze a tentacle in there and disable the alarm system. "

"Yeah, normally, we'd have a [...] do this kind of job, a human can't climb up a tunnel that wide. "

"Hmm, I can only think of a [...] to sense a wavelength like that, humans can't see it. You'll need a droid,"

"... so that limits our options quite a bit. "

The officers around the table were starting to understand how a rag-tag group of humans and aliens so often managed to win against them when brute force wasn't the main tactic. 

If was hard to accept that humans, and First Order troopers in particular, weren't the "best creature the Maker had ever made". But there it was: diversify or fail.

When Hux glanced at Kylo Ren, he saw the bright eyes of someone else shine in that impassive face. Someone who had grown up in that rag-tag band; someone who had a Wookie for an uncle. 

When the meeting was done, Hux reminded the Supreme Leader of the presence of their "guest" aboard the Flagship. Kylo Ren looked at the older woman before him. He had neglected her. "Perhaps you would join us for lunch in the Officer's mess?"

"Yes of course, Leader Kylo."

"I need to do a few things, Sir. But I can join you for half an hour." That was Hux, ensuring they would have some privacy once the ice was broken.

Once seated with their food, Kylo did his best to relax and compliment his guest: "That was impressive thinking, Commander. You have a head for balancing risks vs gain."

"Thank you Sir. I'm used to dealing with a different set of options, though."

"Yes, that was impressive also. For my officers, it was one surprise after the other. Right, Hux?"

"I was only half-surprised. The Resistance had been doing very well until Crait." There was a sudden, deep malaise, but Hux sustained it. That battle, and the events preceding it, had been the turning point in history for all of them. 

"I remember the destruction of a certain Hosnian system and a whole system of government happening just before that." 

The men stared at each other, and Larma feared a violent confrontation right here and now. She held her breath, unprepared for this kind of violence. Moments passed. And then she saw it on both men's faces. Regret. There was no malice. They weren't confronting each other. They were confronting themselves. 

"Worse day of my life, Sir." 

"Same here."

Silence.

"Snoke needed killing."

"Yeah. I know."

"But then we fucked up more."

"Imagine if we'd wiped out the Resistance."

"We'd all be dead. I hope Pryde and the others can see this."

Hux got up. "Thank you Commander D'Acy, your presence here is appreciated. Sir, if you'll excuse me?" Kylo nodded his dismissal. 

"That was a few months coming." He apologized when Hux had left. "I guess we just needed a mediator."

Larma was still reeling from the intensity of the moment that had just passed. "Sir...I don't know, I'm not sure I-"

"It's alright. Hux and I are like brothers now. Snoke had us bickering and competing for attention. His death united us." Not right away. It took a few failed assassination attempts first.

"Why did you say you'd all be dead ?" 

"I guess you wouldn't know about that. Let's just say that for my first weeks of freedom, I was... insane."

Larma remembered the sudden, crushing siege, the rapid negotiations to exchange Rey for a cesse-fire, and then the complete disinterest until a week ago. She had a flash of insight:

"Rey. Are you in love with her?" 

Kylo Ren blushed an angry crimson and for a second Larma thought she had gone too far. But after the intense confessions she had just heard...

The color left his face again, and a boy she had not seen in years appeared before her.

"I like to think of it as a bit more complex than that", he looked embarrassed now.

"Why? Rey is someone to be reckoned with. She's your equal. She's just younger."

"She is. She's _too_ young." 

She looked at him again, saw the circles beneath his eyes. The man was struggling with more than just re-purposing the whole First Order to make it serve the people of the Galaxy. She remembered what the trooper had said: ' _He sure is putting up a fight.'_

"What is she to you, then?"

 _Everything,_ he wanted to answer. "She's the one making all of this" he made a circular gesture encompassing their present conversation, "possible. That is enough." 

For the rest of the meal, the focus was on her career and her aspirations, as well as what she could see happening over the next few weeks. Ben Solo had clammed up. 

***

That night, when the nightmares came, he was so tired he just let them have him, and as he saw the eyes of his victims glaze over and smelled the blood and the char of death, he felt a mote of Light reach for him from across the galaxy and settle on his shoulder. It spread lightly over him as best as it could. He let that have him as well, and as he lay back on his bed, he realized the nightmares were not all his. Some of the figures in the blackness had the faces of officers on board ship. Some were wretches unknown to him. He sat up. Some of the phantasms were not in his past, but on board ship with him. Right now. 

He got up, put on a plain uniform, left his rooms for a night-time prowl. When he came back, he showered again and fell asleep almost immediately when his head touched the pillow. 

In the morning, two officers had disappeared. Two young girls had been found tied up and locked in a closet in quarters on _the Steadfast_. They were discreetly sent to the Resistance headquarters.More would be found on the other ships. More personnel went missing. 

***

The First Order found the Crime syndicate's headquarters exactly where the Resistance information had said it had been. The information had been confirmed after extraction from prisoners picked up in a minor raid on an outpost nearby. Kylo Ren had done the interrogation himself but it had felt good to probe someone's mind who felt as vile as his own had been; a change from crushing bystanders. He put the man out of his misery quickly, instead of torturing him. No point in tempting his Dark side. He'd let the three surviving Rens kill the rest of the raiders. None of them had hurt the few women there, they were learning. 

A bigger raid was to happen on the morrow. 

***

Rey sat in meditation, the Kyber crystal that had belonged to Snoke tucked snugly against her heart. Meditation was still difficult, but strangely enough, it had become an exercise in trying to soothe the angry red entity between her breasts, and the effort she put into calming her heartbeat felt successful once the crystal seemed to pulse in sync with her. Today, when she had stopped, she saw the thing had paled to an iridescent pink. The light-staff she would make from this crystal would be glorious.

For tomorrow's raid, though, she would still use her electro-staff and a good blaster. It was an important outpost of the major crime syndicate they would attack jointly with the Order's forces in three days time. This outpost they would do on their own, with Josa and General Pryde as observers. Her relationship with Josa was freer here, and she would share it with Ben when their schedules coincided. She thought it helped stave off the nightmares better than soothing him afterwards. 


	10. A Fury

A small, discreet force of Resistance fighters infiltrated the compound they had targeted. Josa accompanied them as an observer for General Pryde, who was past his glory days in the field. It was there that she could see the true value of the "other" people in the Galaxy. From inhuman senses that could detect subtle changes in air pressure, to physical abilities possible only with alien skeletons - or lack thereof - to lightning-quick reflexes no electronic augmentation could match. The team she was in could overcome any obstacle, and do so discreetly. They had shut down and paralyzed the compound within minutes of landing.

Then the Jedi made a strange move and Josa was once again reminded of the uncertain balancing act that kind of power demanded. 

Rey had been looking forward to this raid. It was very clear to her that the people they would confront were beasts, and she knew exactly what to do with beasts. Once most of the compound was shut down and the mob guards made their last stand to protect their Quaids, she marched forward, leaving Poe and Finn and the rest of the companions behind. She put up her Force-shield to divert blasters bolts - she froze a few in the air, just to impress the scum - and began picking up and crushing the men in front of her one by one, throwing them against walls or the door to the far side of the hall. Five such guards were killed before one finally managed to get a hit on her. 

He had come out from behind the overturned side table and hit her in the face, breaking her nose. Rey fell back and saw stars, stunned by the pain, and for a moment, realized how small and vulnerable she was as she tasted blood and her vision darkened. Then she remembered her victory over Ap'lek. She heard shouting behind her. She got up. The man before her fell on his knees, clutching his throat. She pushed his head into the floor until a distinct _pop!_ echoed into the now silent hall. That sound seemed to fuel even more power into her. The crystal at her breast throbbed.

Then she focused onto the metal door in front of her. She Forced-pushed into it, hitting it as with a battering ram, and it buckled after a minute of pounding, tearing off its hinges, and crushing the men who had been holding it against her. She continued her inexorable march inside, attacking with the Force - there was something very intimate in handling her enemies that way - and guarding herself with the staff. She took a hit to her arm, another to her flank; she felt the Force rush around the wounds, an excited swarm of energy, and each hit only fueled her more power. _**This** is Force-Rage_, she thought.

Finally she grasped the Patriarch of the Syndicate and held him there, pushed against the far wall. 

Her teammates rushed in, aghast at the destruction. Finn and Poe and Josa stood around her, yelling something she could not make out. She pushed them away. Suddenly, from half a Galaxy away, she felt _him_ in her mind; he was _worried_. And then she released her connection to the Force and fell down a black hole. 

**

The Supreme Leader had been startled into interfering into Rey's crisis in the middle of battle planning for the joint raid, visibly shutting everyone out while trying to reach through to her. He'd managed to let her know how he felt, and doing so, everyone in the room had become privy to the struggle. When his focus came back to where he was, only Hux was left: he'd cleared everyone else out. He slumped back into his chair, clutching his side where pain throbbed. A intense migraine was taking him as well. 

"What was that?" Hux asked him.

"This Force-Dyad thing will be the death of me. I've just had to stop the Last Jedi from killing everyone in sight, including her friends. I've just stopped her from falling to the Dark Side." 

Hux laughed but it was not cruel. He put his hand on Kylo's shoulder. "Wow. You're really paying the price now."

**

When Rey woke, she saw the medic jump then come to see her. She could barely open an eye, the other was swollen shut. Leia came in, her brow creased in undisguised concern and frustration; Poe and Chewie were with her, frustrated as well. 

"Leave me alone with her." They left reluctantly. 

Rey managed to turn her head towards Leia.

"The good news is, you didn't kill the Crime Boss. The bad news is, you killed a lot more people than was needed, and you gave Finn a bad concussion. What happened?"

"Did we win?" Rey croaked out.

That was not quite the answer Leia expected. Her voice tinged with fear, she asked "Did my son teach you this? This Power?"

Rey closed her eyes and reached for the Force. She felt it there, around and inside her, could see Leia's bright outline. There was still Light available to her. 

"Leia", she murmured, "Ben helped me control it."

"If that is control...", Leia's brow creased even further, "I'd rather you not use the Force at all." 

Rey could not explain to her what had _almost_ happened. "I'm sorry. It's still hard sometimes. Is Finn alright?"

That was more like it. "Yes, he'll be alright." She relaxed somewhat. "You're wounded. Rest now. You won't be participating in the joint assault. No, shut up. You're grounded."

***

It was a very specific and unusual set of orders that passed down to the Storm-troopers: do not hurt the captives, take prisoners, destroy all the drugs but for the Blue Grass. Only kill in self-defense. For this raid, Hux and a close team had handpicked the troopers best suited to make those kind of decisions. There were few, but there were some. 

The Resistance stealthily sneaked into the base and disabled comms and defenses, making way for the troopers to rush and neutralise the main syndicate forces.

Kylo Ren, his Knights, as well as Dameron and Finn went after the leadership itself, in the heart of the little fortress.

It was glorious. Once Kylo could tell the craven from the truly rotten he let himself flow into the dance he had perfected over the years; becoming a graceful killing machine. He felt so in tune with his actions he wasn't sure which side of the force he was using, only that the black souls around him were falling and the cries of their victims were finally silenced and pacified. A few did manage to survive the assault, and the information he would glean from them would help sort the prisoners later, as well as find allied and rivals gangs. 

They had suffered some losses, had made a few mistakes, but the overall outcome had been positive. The people rescued, some reluctant members, and the troopers all felt like the work the First Order should have been doing for years had actually been done. 

Snoke had not given a damn about the Slavers. He thought they served his purpose in providing an alternate enemy for the people to fear. The First Order itself, the way it "conscripted" its troopers, could be considered a slaving organization. Diversifying its recruiting strategy would hopefully compensate for that policy change. 

After the fight, Poe stood with Kylo Ren for a moment. "I like meeting like this much better than the last time", he quipped, trying to connect to his old enemy. They were both covered in blood and guts. The taller man had removed his mask. 

"I think we have our work cut out for us for the next twenty years", Organa's son said. Then he added: "You resisted my probe better than most."

Poe startled, before he realized the comment was meant as a _compliment._ "Thanks. I tried. You were very graceful while you killed two dozen raiders."

This time, Kylo snorted something approaching laughter. Then he turned serious. "I thought you would have Rey with you."

Poe heard the wistful tone in Kylo Ren's voice. There was something there that he had best avoid. "Not after last time. The official excuse is that she was wounded in battle. But she's too dangerous." 

"She did manage to come down, though?"

"She said you helped her." _From halfway across the Galaxy_ , Poe thought; _these people are like gods_.

"I barely nudged her. She needed the battle experience. Still does. She could have been here. Was she too wounded?" There was worry in the Dark Lord's voice. 

"You sent us some quality bacta. She could have been with us. Leia wouldn't have it though. Too worried."

The Supreme Leader looked at the Resistance pilot. "She's not a standard-bearer. She has the Power, we have a clear mission now. Use her. She'll only get better."

"She'll be back with you soon, no? The arrangement still holds?" 

For a fleeting instant, Poe saw a gentle smile bloom on Kylo Ren's face, revealing someone else entirely, before it was hidden once again.

***

Josa announced her departure on the day after Rey was discharged from medical bay. 

"There's no point in my staying anymore, Rey. You don't need me as much as you think you do. We both knew this was not going to go very far."

"Is it because you're afraid of the 'Supreme Leader' ? He doesn't have any authority over me you know, over us." 

"Rey... you think I don't know he won't interfere? Look, this can't work."

"Why not? It feels good to be with you, I like being with you."

"You're _not_ with me. You're with _him_. I hear you call _his_ name."

*

When Josa came back days early, Kylo Ren asked for a debrief to find out why. 

"She's all _yours_ , Sir. She used me as a kind of... bulwark, or, I don't know. She doesn't know either, it wasn't deliberate. But-"

"But she's too young!" that excuse was becoming tiresome and he knew it.

Josa looked at the the most powerful man in the Galaxy and saw a man of flesh and blood, with complex feelings for the other most powerful Force-Wielder in the Galaxy. 

"She's not too young, unless _you_ are too old. Just ready yourself, Sir, she's a _fury_. I'm requesting a transfer to another ship. With your permission?"

"Permission granted."

***

It took the rest of the week for Rose to forgive Rey for Finn's injuries. It took Finn finally admitting his own Force-sensitivity for him to understand - then explain what he could to the others - of Rey's near-loss of control. He would accompany Rey on her trip back. Rose was invited to follow, but wasn't excited by the prospect yet. Pryde was loathe to leave. The widower was getting along well with Leia, and he felt as if his world was expanding for the first time in a long time. D'Acy missed her wife, so she would be coming back home. 

*

Kylo and Hux sat in Kylo's study, polishing off a bottle of brandy and looking out the star port. 

"A Scavenger from Jakku, nightmares, and six months later here we are, integrating the Resistance into a guerrilla force to combat worse things than what we used to call 'Disorder'." Hux breathed. "Did we win? Did we lose? I can't tell. We certainly changed a lot since the previous Supreme Leader's untimely death."

"Untimely? I think it was just the right time. You haven't thanked me for that yet. You wouldn't believe the mental gymnastics that took to pull off."

"Indeed? I thought _she_ had killed him, along with all eight guards, _and_ knocked you out cold, too." Hux was chuckling. 

"Yeah, she had help. She did knock me out, that part's true." There was a moment's silence. 

"So she's coming back tomorrow. I hear she's quite a fury." Hux looked at Kylo in time to see the man's Adam's apple bob up and down. "Kriff man. You look terrified. Listen, you don't have to make the first move. But whatever you do, don't reject her. I did that once. I still regret it to this day: I'd have grown kids if I hadn't done that."

"But she's too-

"Oh for Kriffs' sake!"


	11. A Fury (part 2)

In the night, she reached for him. Not directly. Not actively. She dreamed of him. He saw himself through her eyes: a mixture of body attraction and fear, of respect and compassion, and just enough anger and revulsion to keep them apart. Eventually, her feelings turned to lust and he was forced to surrender to her, the only way she could deal with her fear of him. He understood she knew next to nothing of intimacy with a man. Just as he suspected. 

Suddenly he wanted nothing of the responsibility. He was a Warlord. He was the Jedi-killer. He was a DarkSider, a murderer a monster. An enemy. And she.

She would defeat him with the gift of a flower. 

He re-examined his feelings for her. 

He had been awed and fascinated by her very existence, right from the start. Her power had excited him, as a worthy ally, or a worthy opponent would. He had offered her training, and power, and she had rejected both in hopes he would renounce the source of his power. Then, over the course of four months he had discovered he needed her, had trapped her and she had accepted part of his offer. Now, she was interested in more. 

He had, in fact, seduced her. 

So why was he resisting her?

His compassion had evolved into respect. Into love. Of which he was unworthy. Incapable. 

_Maker. She hasn't even_ attempted _anything yet. I'm resisting_ myself _. I'm_ afraid _of her._

He thought he knew how to keep her at bay. 

***

When Leia saw him come down the ramp, he had his mask on again. He made sure Pryde, Finn and Rey was on board; and that D'Acy had disembarked before taking off his mask and speaking with her in private.

"Mother", he told her, "I hope you are well."

He had put his walls up again. She almost sighed. Then she turned to business: "We have intel on a few more compounds. Do you still want to work with us?" 

"Yes of course. Has there been any push-back yet?" There would be retaliation soon. The Crime Lords would not give up their power without a fight. It was only a question of time before they figured how the chessboard had changed. He would soon know for sure which of his officers where corrupt. The indiscreet ones had been dealt with. 

"A lot of people are asking questions. Arms-makers have been making unusual investments." She thought of something. "We've had to refuse prospective recruits. I never thought that would happen. You should tighten your standards too." 

"Right. What do you think of Pryde?" 

"He's dying. Did you know that? I wondered how someone who had served Palpatine, then Snoke, could be so mellow. Sure likes the Blue Grass." She took a breath: "Speaking of Snoke, we should talk. For real."

His face drained of all blood. "I have too much work to do, General Organa."

"And Rey-"

"She will be treated with respect, I assure you. She only has eight more months to serve, until she is released." He straightened. 

The softness was gone. She reached for him but he ... almost stepped back. 

They were done. After a stiff protocolar salute he turned and left, stiffly walking back to his shuttle, putting the helm back on as he climbed the gangplank. 

***

Rey and Finn sat together as passengers while Pryde sat with his Supreme Leader in the cockpit. 

Finn would begin training his own Force abilities. He would also asses the mood of his old comrades, see how they were adapting to the changes. D'Acy had left him her first impressions. It felt strange to go back to his old world, even if he was not donning the traditional white armor. He wished Rose had come.

Rey was silent. Josa was gone. Ben Solo had reverted to Kylo Ren again. Finn was there but Finn had Rose. At least Teneth and Lucas would still be there, and Mella Krosyn had become a regular for her academic tutoring.

**

Pryde had accepted the diagnostic posed by the Resistance med-bot. He had hidden his symptoms while with the First Order, but now, it wasn't necessary anymore. He thought of his sons, both dead in service to Snoke. He thought of his grand kids: teenagers ill-suited to military life. One was a promising musician. Another a promising engineer. The eldest was getting married. Already. A mistake but there it was. 

It was strange to speak of these things with Kylo Ren. It was a contrast to how twisted and wretched he had been under Snoke's grip. How they all had been. The young man before him still had regrets, that much was obvious, but he was healing. 

Pryde hesitated between retiring to go back to his family, and staying on to take care of the Galaxy. He would stay on another month. Kylo nodded. 

***

Over the next week, Rey discovered how convenient it was for Finn to be there. It was always: "Train with Finn, eat with Finn, go planet-side with Finn".

He would leave the study when she came in. 

On the third night, when a nightmare woke her and she went to meet him in the study, he didn't come out. His door was locked. She knocked and she felt him wake up, but he didn't come out. She heard him come to the door, but he wouldn't open. After a moment she heard a muttered "Thank you" before he went back to his bed.

Then he let their schedules de-sync, so that he would sleep when she trained in the morning. They merely had their afternoon lessons together. So rare was their time together it became a precious commodity. It made her frustrated. Training became intense.

*

At some point, Kylo became convinced she would take up another lover, maybe even Teneth, and when she didn't, he felt equal parts frustrated and relieved. Relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with real jealousy. Frustrated because her attention was now focused exclusively on him. He was learning to shut her out of his mind to some extend, but couldn't always manage it. It was another bond like Snoke's, but where Snoke tortured him with pain and loathing, she tortured him with a mix of respect and pleasure. 

And what sweet, sweet torture it was. 

He figured that if he pushed the physicality between them during combat training, she would back down. If he held her too close, too tight, an arm across her breast while he breathed menace in her ear; she would squirm away, frightened. He would hold her down, arm twisted behind her and hips weighting on her buttocks, and she would shiver and submit quickly so he would roll off her. He would deliberately hit her on sensitive places with the wooden sword. He thought to demonstrate to her why she should stay away from him. He would later relieve the pressure that build inside him when he thought she was asleep. 

If he'd asked anyone, anyone, about this strategy, they would have told him how terrible it was. Certainly, her lust-filled dreams about him should have alerted him. 

But it was such sweet torture. 

**

Snoke's Kyber crystal had stopped lightening and was turning a golden orange. The three of them sat at the workbench. Finn had been able to take one of the crystal's already in Kylo's possession. As much as collecting a "wild" crystal had been important to the Jedi, their present affiliations made it awkward. It shone a bright lilac. 

The design for Finn's light-saber had come from Rose. Maybe Finn's choice had been biased, maybe not. Since his housing was still under construction, they assembled Rey's first. It was another opportunity for her abilities to shine through. The electronics were so efficient and economical Kylo was tempted to ask her to rewire his. Instead, as they looked at the powerful golden beam that shone in her hands, he said: "You can do Finn's too."

"Aren't the Jedi supposed to build their own?" the dusk-skinned ex-storm-trooper asked. The Scavenger and the Supreme Leader looked at him.

"I'm not going to be a Jedi, am I?" He looked profoundly disappointed. Rey looked at Kylo Ren, who was also Ben Solo, who in turn looked at his new apprentice. "We have the sacred Jedi texts. You can study them. We can see in a year if ... things change."

He meant if he himself would take on the mantle of the Jedi. The Last 'true' Jedi. 

On the way to the training arena, Kylo fell back with him, tapped him on the shoulder: "I apologize for the injury I caused you. I see you recovered well." Finn stopped, bewildered. He looked his old enemy and present teacher in the eye, to pick up any sarcasm there. "Apology accepted, Master Ren". 

***

The next raid couldn't come soon enough.

It was a big compound, an illegal weapons depot for one of the bigger crime families, in the mid Rim. In the Teraab sector. Near Hutt space. 

The remaining Knights of Ren would participate, as would five Resistance Fighters for the usual stealth segment of the operation. Kylo was hoping to send Rey with the stealth team but she was itching to use her light-staff, so she was part of the main assault team instead. It would be the first time he would see her in action. 

*

Finn was glad to see Chewie again. As they crouched, waiting for the signal, they exchanged news. Finn told him about Kylo's apology. Chewie listened with interest. Finn could only understand some of the wookie's speech, but hand signals were known by all, so operations could go smoothly. Still, he understood enough to give him news about Rey. 

"She's been training like a madwoman, but she's still restless. Josa? No she transferred to another ship. Rey got her new light-staff working; it's gorgeous. Ben Solo? You mean Kylo Ren? What about him? He's training us both. Yeah, it's still weird. What's that about Rey _and_ Ben Solo? I don't understand. _Ow_! Hush, we have to move out."

As they closed in on the compound, it was Poe's turn.

"Between Ben and Rey? What, you too? Not that I know of, and we spend a _lot_ of time together. He's been pushing her _hard_ , that's all I can see. Wait. _Should_ there be something going on between them?" 

When the power was cut off the compound guards came out silently in organized groups to confront them. 

Kylo had assigned two of his Knights to her, keeping Ushar with him. Black-clad Elite Storm-troopers completed the teams of five, the third formed of other Resistance Fighters and two "complementary" troopers. As they waited for him to give the signal, he could feel Rey getting impatient. She burned so bright, it was a distraction.

 _*Wait for it*_ he cautioned her. 

An explosive charge went off. "Go Go Go!" And they were on. 

Hux was against this, his participation in raids, reminding him of the risks and his responsibilities, but Kylo could exult in this using of his abilities without feeling doubtful or remorseful afterwards, and his "day job" could not compete with that. He fell into the trance, a deadly choreography, careful not to kill his fellow raiders, keeping an eye out for his Dyad-half. And what a Dyad they were. 

As they advanced, the troopers fell back one by one, guarding accesses they passed at strategic points. The main force entered the compound through the three doors they had mapped, going down stairs and corridors, to meet up before or behind the central chamber, blocking off exits and trapping the compound boss. There was an explosion to the East: the first weapons cache was destroyed. 

He could feel her, and, faintly, his new apprentice. Funny, the colors they had in his mind's eye were the same as their light-sabers. It stood to reason, considering how the Force connected them, even if Finn was still only carrying his Kyber crystal with him for now. If he closed his eyes, he could turn his head to see that faint lilac spot. Rey was a golden orange of course. Well, a bright orange now. 

He stopped. He felt her take a hit and just as quickly her light darkened to blood-orange. He picked up his pace to reach her. 

_*I'm okay*_ she roared into his mind. She was moving too quickly, her knights barely keeping up with her. She made it to the chamber where the brigands had made their last stand, hoping to cover their boss' escape. He sent Ushar on ahead with the last trooper, hoping to overtake her advance by using a side corridor. 

When he got there. 

When he got there, she was confronting the Qaid. Everyone else was dead or lying at her feet, including one of her knights. Her light-glaive was as dark as she was, splattered in blood and brains. She was swinging her glaive in figures, advancing on the Hutt, who looked terrified, and it seemed to feed her even more. 

The sight of her made him instantly hard as a rock. Then he saw blood seeping from a gash over her left shoulder-blade and realized her left arm was useless. 

_*I'm here. Disengage*_ he told her. She ignored him. _This is going to be a problem. *We need him alive*_ he reminded her. 

_*Alive? Okay.*_ and she slashed at the Hutt's hand. Just then the Resistance crew crashed in from the back elevator. They stopped in their tracks, and he could see the fear in their eyes. Finn fell back. 

"Rey! _Disengage_!" he hollered. This time she looked at him. He felt like a _tug_ along their Bond. Slowly her feral snarl faded to a look of confusion, and he caught her up as she fell, exhausted. 

Cardo was coming to his senses, getting up and going back the way they had come to look for Trudgen; he gave Kylo a look that said he was surprised he'd survived. 

Chewbacca walked over to him, made to pick her up but Kylo refused. She wasn't unconscious, not quite. The wookie looked around at the destruction: Furniture had been thrown around the room. Heavy furniture. There were laser blasts scorch marks on the side walls. At least twenty bodies, some of them still breathing, littered the floor. The door had been blasted clear across the room from its initial position. 

He knew she'd had help from Cardo for the explosives, but this?

"Wow. What a trip", she whispered, and his heart sank.

Chewie said nothing for a minute. Then he looked at Kylo's face. He must have looked a shocked fool, because the big man pat his shoulder with one hairy paw. 

"Yeah", he growled. 

*

Rey spend two days in the medical bay.

Trudgen tried to give him an accurate account of their descent up to the point where he'd been caught in her Force-push - he called it Force- _blast_ \- and been knocked out. They had disabled at least fifteen guards up until then. Cardo continued from there. In the corridor, they had met little resistance once she had used that ability, the guards all rushing to put the heavy plasteel door between the _Fury_ and them. 

"I blasted that door", he told him, "And got a few more hits in too, but then, she just started swinging that glaive around... I ended up knocking heads with one of the bandits in the rush to get out of her way." There was more than a little awe in his voice. "She's got some pent up Rage, that one."

 _I suspect something more than just_ Rage, Kylo thought.


	12. The Dyad

"She's as terrible as you were." Hux told him. "You've got to get her under control. How many of our men did she kill or incapacitate? How many potential informants ? And now word's coming out there's some 'Rogue Force' out there, 'destroying well established families' ". 

"Imagine the Hutt demanding First Order protection from this 'Rogue Force'." The Supreme Leader smirked. 

"That would be rich. What if they do ?" Pryde was trying to think ahead in the little time he had left before leaving service. 

"We'll take their money and fail. They'll turn to the Resistance, who can do the same. Then, once they decide to organize themselves, the First Order will be justified in 'pacifying' their system."

"We'll have sympathizers within our ranks to deal with before then. They've been discreet so far", Hux said.

The mutiny Kylo expected hadn't happened yet. He must be doing something right by the men under his command. But those who stood to lose from the changes he was making were not in the ranks. They were officers, goaded by politicians or industrial magnates. 

"Meanwhile, a holo's been intercepted, showing grainy footage of your _protegee,_ accompanied by the Knights of Ren. Or are they the Knights of _Rey_?" Hux asked.

Both men looked at Kylo Ren now. _The way this is going, I'll be wearing white before the year is out,_ he thought, and suppressed a laugh. 

"You're beginning to grasp the concept of the Dyad", he told them, "we share the Knights."

"What else are you sharing?" 

"By the end of it, I suspect, everything."

"Well, hurry it up, then, before troopers refuse to work with her anymore." Pryde stated. 

***

Training continued, but he was pushing her away. After all the effort he had put into capturing her and putting together a deal his administration had accepted, and he didn't even want her to ease him through the nightmares anymore. He hadn't moved her to another suite yet, but that would be the next logical step, the way things were going. 

She turned onto her back in her bed, chasing sleep that was eluding her. She went over the raid they had both participated in. She wished he could have seen her, her light-glaive burning like the torch of Justice made solid, her movements bold and efficient. She had managed to come out of the Rage just in time when he had asked her too, when the blood had reached her eyes. 

Sure, she had accepted a wound to reach for a greater height of power, but that had been a calculated risk. She would heal. The marauders were dead. Some of the troopers were dead too. She saw their faces now. She saw Finn's face. Poe's. They feared her. 

She was a purifying flamme, a justiciar, both judge and executioner. This was her role in all this. She would be fire and burn through the ranks of the greedy and the corrupt. She could see their shocked eyes, as they fell before her, pleading for their lives, and she gave them deliverance instead. They gifted her with warm blood and stinking offal, and she accepted the gifts...

Kylo's head snapped towards her suite. She was having a nightmare. He had expected it to happen sooner or later. He waited a moment, thinking she might come out and it would be his turn to comfort her, but as the seconds stretched out into a minute, it became obvious she wasn't breaking free.

He made for her door. It wasn't locked. No part of her had been locked from him for some time now. 

He walked into her room and it was as warm as the desert of Jakku when the sun set. He set the huge window to transparent, so he could have some light. The golden sun they were passing lit the room and he could see her lying in her bed. He'd come in with only his shorts, ready for bed. She was naked and she was trembling and covered in a sheen of sweat. She had gained a lot of muscle over the past months and her hair had grown past her shoulders. The curve of her hips was softening with the proper diet she was finally getting. Her breasts had rounded too. Some part of him tried to warn him but he ignored it: he knew he was lost.

She was curled on her side, and he reached for the sheets to cover her but she was atop them and he would startle her if he pulled them out. He thought he could gently touch her shoulder and sent soothing sensations her way through the bond, and then walk out. What came back was her nightmare. 

She was not afraid of the men she confronted. Around her were bodies strewn on the ground. Before her was Snoke, cut in half but somehow still seated, still mocking her, mocking them both, urging his apprentice to kill her with the cruelest stroke. She was up and dancing among the guards, killing them again and again. While more kept coming, he saw himself, still kneeling, seeming to wait for some sign. She would kill another guard and then look at him, and then he understood:

she too was waiting, waiting for him to stop her.

When he opened his eyes, she shifted onto her back, staring at him, teeth bared. Quick as a snake, she reached for his wrist and the Force. _Maker, she is strong._ They wrestled.

With the Force, she pinned him down and bit and kissed him, and he was struck with the desire he had built in her for the past weeks. Through the bond, he felt how with every spar, every struggle, she had felt him against her, muscular and strong, how she had smelled his musk, and sometimes, sometimes brushed against his manhood and the promise it held. As he twisted from under her and pushed back, gaining the upper hand only to shudder and lose the advantage again, she raked him with her short nails, pulling at his shorts. He put finger-tip sized bruises on her wrists and legs, trying to hold her closed but she was done waiting. She fell under him again and she moaned, and he felt her slip against his thigh, wet with desire. 

"Why are you fighting me?" she groaned in a husky voice. 

"I don't want to hurt you", he whispered, thinking that was what he was preventing. 

"You're hurting me now!" and she didn't mean the way he held her wrist. _"Be with me!"_

He stopped fighting. All his efforts had placed him over her again, his arms caging her, her legs folded around him. She pushed herself up and kissed him again, and this time it registered. Her pupils were blown wide with want. She touched his face with her one free hand then reached around his neck, pulling him down to her, her kiss hungry and her tongue searching for his. 

If he denied her, she would destroy him. He had to make the gift of himself. He released her other wrist and she reached for him, pushing down his shorts and grasping him and pulling him close, muttering "Give me, take me" in a hoarse whisper. Her eyes fluttered as she moved his cockhead over her vulva, coating him in their juices, rubbing him against her swollen clit, round and around while he shivered, then pushing him into her flower that burned now. It was so precipitated and in no way how he had dreamed about her since she had accepted their deal. It was closer to the first dreams he had had, of conquering her, of taking her by force. But she was taking him. 

It felt like he was falling as he eased into her slowly, pushing all the way into her as she squirmed to accommodate him, until he was hilted. He rested then, tears leaking into her hair. She turned to face him, kissing, kissing him softly. "Please" she pleaded, pulsing around him, angling herself to get more of him, "Take me. Give it to me" and through the bond, he felt the pain of the breach he had made make way for pleasure. He started moving within her, and it was like nothing he had ever known. She had stopped biting so he could kiss her back, deep, lavish kisses while her hands were free to caress him, every part of him she could reach, making him shudder and quake, and she heaved when he brushed against her core. 

"Ah!" she moaned, and she finally relaxed, and put her fingers where their bodies met so she could join him in the ecstasy she was coaxing from them both. She threw back her head, relief flooding her as her walls swelled like a great wave rising and he felt her crash into him, again and again; then he was caught in the undertow, until he flooded into her in turn. 

"Thank you", she said, and he wrapped his arms around her, speechless. He turned onto his back, pulling her up to rest on top of him. 

The Dyad was complete. 

*

Lucas rang to come in with breakfast and Kylo got up, covering her with her bed-sheets. He didn't leave the room but walked to look out the window, naked and uncaring. 

"I'll wake her in a moment, Lucas, you can leave it there."

The man took a breath before asking "Does the Supreme Leader wish to break his fast as well?"

Kylo shook his head. The steward left, keeping his face expressionless. 

He sat on her bed, looking at her, then caressed her shoulder. "Hey. Wake up."

She startled, then immediately softened when she saw him. "Hey", she murmured.

Neither of them knew what to say.

She nodded, got up. "I have to get ready", she told him.

He got up himself, picked up his discarded shorts, made for the door. 

"Don't lock your door to me ever again", she told him. 

He'd flown into the flamme. 

*

When he made it into the shower he saw blood washing off him and it made it all that much more damning. He went over the events in his head. He could have resisted more, he _was_ stronger than her.

" _Whatever you do, don't reject her_ " Hux had said.

It was the end of a balance they had worked hard on establishing. Their relationship had been built on an unspoken code of honor between enemy combatants, on the compromise of a cease-fire. It had been built on trust between teacher and student. And now, she had torn all that down and demanded a new relationship. To top it off, the Force bound them together in ways neither could resist.

He would have to open his heart. 

**

Training with Teneth didn't go very well, and after a while, he declared a 'bad day' and sent her off to the pool with Finn, who knew how to swim and had taken over teaching her. That turned out to be a mistake as well. 

"What _happened_ to you?" he exclaimed, seeing how bruised and battered she was, "That can't be part of training. Wait. Are those... _hand-prints_ ... on your thighs!? "

_Uh-ho._

"Listen. Don't tell anyone, but I finally got him", she whispered, letting triumph color her voice.

" _Got_ him? Got _who_?" Finn gulped. His sight dimmed. He knew who. Everyone knew who. "Are you sure? How can you be so bruised? If he beat you, I swear I'll..." He sputtered...she was smiling, her eyes dreamy with a bliss he could not deny. 

"Oh, it wasn't easy. He put up a fight. But there was no way I was gonna go without for the rest of my life. And neither was he."

"He put up a _fight_? Rey..." the ex-storm-trooper shook his head. He thought of Rose and him. She'd had to twist his arm, too. Convince him he was worthy. "Congrats, I guess? But now what? "

 _Now we take it one day at a time,_ she thought.

**

His staff didn't expect him back on the bridge but he would re-sync his schedule with hers. After a few minutes, a hush came over the room and he realized they were not-quite staring at him. Then Hux finally asked for a word with him, in private. 

"Sir, I'm glad you've sorted things out with the woman, but you should have waited a few hours before showing up on the bridge. Maybe put an icepack on your lip, if you didn't want to wear your mask."

"One of the Rens got in a lucky hit." 

Hux snorted, gently. "Sir. You're grinning." 

**

He was staring out the star-port when she came "home". He had a closed book in his lap, finger holding his place. Music was playing; that same composer, but the song was hopeful. 

He broke the silence: "You know, this music style is also a dance?" 

She walked to sit with him and she realized she was uncertain how she felt about him. A wave of passion had build in her and she had acted on it, giving and taking without understanding the worth of the exchange, and she could see in his hesitant face it meant much more to him than she thought. 

Suddenly, she understood their relationship as it was per the Force. She fed his Light, and he fed her Darkness. 

She put her hand up, facing him, and after a second he met hers with his and they laced their fingers together. 

"I'm afraid", she said.

"I hurt you", he said, remorse creeping into his face. 

"No, that's not what I'm afraid of." She didn't know how to put it in words. The Scavenger had taken him. Like she took the training, the Kyber crystal, the suite of rooms, the Knights of Ren, the food the clothing everything. Even Josa. "Ben, I have nothing", she finally said. 

He looked at her; some of her feelings were bleeding through the Bond. 

_And yet, you are everything to me,_ he wanted to say. 

"You have incredible strength," he told her, "and I know you're struggling right now, but I know we'll find balance, okay? You share your strength with me, Rey. You help me." 

Rey let herself fall gently onto his chest, so that he cradled her. They both looked out the star-port, finger still tangled, while his heart learned to beat to a new drum. 

"What now?" she asked. 

He listened to the music: "We dance," and walked over to the sound system to start the album again. 

He took Rey's right hand in his, placed her left hand on his arm just below his shoulder as he splayed his right hand over her lower back. He whispered: "Follow my lead" in her ear and he opened his mind to her. He walked her through the basics steps, warming up, and then told her to close her eyes and just flow with him.

Leaning on him, she let him guide her smoothly around the little study, Force-pushing furniture to the walls as they circled the space, dimming the lights and opening the star port to view the supernova remnant they were passing. When they had cleared the area, moving through the steps enough she started to know them, he made her circle him, and they swayed back and forth, round and round, his feet occasionally tapping hers to cue her for something he remembered with her, his hand firm against her back, or warm in hers. 

In his mind's eye she saw memories of _soirées_ past, some with the First Order, some earlier, accompanying his mother to official balls Han Solo absolutely hated. Leia had taught him his very first steps, but he had merely indulged her then. Years later, a senator's wife had taught him to listen to the music, to the songs her husband no longer danced with her. She had taught him many other things, in those first couple years of freedom he had enjoyed before Snoke reigned him in, and he remembered them fondly. 

He brought her hand close his heart, humming the song the lonely man was singing, closing his own eyes and she started to understand his melancholy. She relaxed and joined him in this, this part of him no one remembered now. Heart to heart, trusting his rhythm, they moved as one for a moment out of time. 

*

They supped together. They didn't quite know how to voice their confused feelings yet, so they spoke of their progress in training, or policy-making. Rey was finally accessing the engineering curriculum. Her tutors let her experiment as much as she wanted, and she was making quick progress. She listened to Kylo working to adapt the mission of the First Order to something less oppressive, more inclusive, and she realized how he was changing as well. Looking at his face, it dawned on her how his feelings for her were softer than what she felt for him. 

"How old are you?" she asked him suddenly.

Startled, he answered: "Thirty. Why?" _There it is_ , he thought, _the gap that makes it impossible_.

 _He's Leia's only son. Only child. I am young, I am healthy._ Her part in this story became breathtakingly clear _. I have the power to gift the future. I will take all of him and give him back someone new._

She stood up, coming around the table to lean over to kiss him before taking his hand and pulling him out of the chair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Music for the tango](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ1aTPM-dyE)


	13. Two that are One

He let her lead him into his rooms, and she went to the fresher to draw the bath. "I thought you were afraid of water" he said, feeling stupid because he was nervous. 

"I'm not afraid of water with you. Not anymore," she stripped completely, revealing her taunt, muscular body, and the assortment of bruises he had left on her only hours ago. She had battle scars of her own now. She reached him and pulled off his tunic, and everything else. They both had bruises and scars on them, and they traced and soothed each other's wounds. The bath filled quickly and they got into it, and she picked up soap and cloth and proceeded to wash him. He was big and tense and it took much kneading of muscles to get him to relax, occasionally leaning against his back to kiss his neck or his ears, or between his shoulder blades. He felt her small breasts brush against him, pebbled nipples teasing him. 

It was a much softer connection than the early morning's violent struggle. He let her caress every part of his body, and it was everything he had needed and been denied for so long. Tears leaked from his eyes. She moved around him and kissed those tears, making soothing noises to help tame the frightened beast he had become over the years. Then she turned to present her back and it was his turn to wash her. 

Here was another beast to tame. As he explored her body, he saw how she struggled to remain passive, and it was as if she was trying to make up for forcing his hand earlier. She shivered and heaved under his touch, and he leaned into her to kiss where his hand caressed, her shoulder, along her spine; her lips when she turned her face to him. His hands moved to the front of her and he cupped her breast, her nipple pebbling against his palm. He knelt forward, his erection settling in the cleft of her buttocks as his right hand reached down towards her mound. She heaved at his hand and he cupped her, and felt the swell of desire there; she reached his hand and pushed on his fingers to move into her lips where the wetness was warm and thick. He rubbed circles around her bud, and she pushed one of his finger inside, followed by a second. She moaned, shuddering, one hand holding onto the side of the tub, the other reaching behind her, grasping and stroking him, pushing him under her.

It was bliss, but he wanted to please her more before taking her again so he moved back, his cock springing back up with a meaty _slap!_ , and he continued stroking her, letting their shared bond inform him of her progress. She held the tub with both hands now, moaning softly, then loudly as his long fingers reached inside to her core. He had both hands on her now, one caressing her breasts, the other alternating between rubbing her nub or pumping fingers inside her, kissing her spine while allowing himself to grind into her cleft. When she climaxed, she let out a low howl as she clenched on his fingers and the bond feedback surprised him into joining her, warm ropes coating her buttocks. They remained on their knees for a minute, panting with the intensity. 

He was not done yet.

They rinsed off and he picked her up and carried her to his settee before the huge port window. They were passing an immense nebula. He sat her and knelt before her legs, spreading her like he had dreamed more than a few times while she had shared her trysts with Josa. 

It was not like Josa. His light stubble felt like some ravenous brute was devouring her flesh, a muscular tongue reaching inside her further than she could imagine. She had shared with him and so he knew her, how much to lick, how much to suck, when to rest to let her breathe between waves of pleasure. He spread her wide, pushing her thighs apart so the resistance pulled at her center, adding to the beast of her pleasure. He pushed fingers inside her again, moving them around roughly, and she climaxed again while he sucked her in and held her between his lips, softly squeezing in a slow rhythm that brought her out until she folded in on herself and he released her. 

He looked up at her: she was knocked out by her pleasure. She'd wanted him...well she had him. He was erect again but she was groggy and he gave her time to come around. 

" _Maker_!" she exclaimed, "I had no idea." 

And then, through the Bond, he felt a wave of heat like fire. She picked herself up, caught his hand and dragged him bodily to his bed, where she pushed him down and straddled him. 

She was so swollen now she had a hard time taking him in, but he could feel how her pain only burned with her pleasure, and once seated he was already rubbing against her core and she fought to regain her composure. She was tight and hot and throbbed with each movement and it was just as intense as the morning's struggle had felt like combat. She managed to bend over him for kisses, and she knead his chest and pinched a nipple, smirking as he gasped. She pushed herself up suddenly, looking at him as if seeing him for the first time. 

"You're _beautiful_ ", she told him, and he was no longer a monster. 

When she started riding him, it felt like he was lifting up and drifting into that nebula they were passing. It felt like he was being sucked into a pulsar. She took him in again and again, crashing him into her heat, and his hands dropped to his sides as surrender became imminent. He realized she could feel him too and just before he released, she twisted so he could reach her core and the pulsar blew into a supernova. 

He grasped her hips and pushed her down on him, and she did, but then she raised and pushed into him again and again, until he was almost yelling. 

She fell onto him and stayed there until he softened and his seed spilled from her, and then she moved to his side and he cradled her. 

**

In the morning, Finn and Teneth warmed up while they waited for Rey to show up. After a half-hour, Teneth commed Lucas to ask if he knew what was keeping her.

"She won't be making it today. No, she's alright. Um, best you don't visit. She would be very annoyed if you did."

Finn looked at the trainer, and they picked up their swords and started without the Beacon of the Resistance. 

*

Hux was the one who took the call from General Organa.

"The Supreme Leader is ... taking a vacation."

"That's a nice way to say "mission". I'll talk with Rey then, if you would patch me through, General."

The younger general looked over to his senior, Pryde, who was quietly laughing behind his hand.

"Leia", he said, and she was surprised by his blushing demeanor and his sudden familiarity, "Your son is with Rey. I will let him know you called once he...comes back."

**

On the third day, Rey felt it was time to come clean. "Kylo,"

"Call me Ben. You can call me Ben." He was kissing every vertebra down her spine, on his way to her tailbone. 

"Ben... I'm not using a contraceptive." There, she'd said it. 

There was a long moment's silence. "I suppose I could be the one to get an implant."

The tone with which he said it confirmed what she'd been hoping for. "I don't want you to get an implant."

Another silence while he shifted his body up to be level with her face. "That means-"

"Yes", she answered. 

"That's ... everything."

"Ben, you know this has to happen." She was determined. 

It didn't have to happen. There was something missing. Ben Solo found courage. 

"I love you, Rey of Jakku." He let her know, realizing how easy it was for him to love her. How he had loved her almost from the start. 

There was a moment's silence. It stretched out. 

"Ben, I- ", she started, then stopped.

"I know", he answered. She wasn't there yet. She was in a place of _passion_. She had been drawn to his Darkness, but it was not love. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Her face flushed with shame and he pulled her close, feeling her heart beat wildly while she struggled to understand her feelings. Then she got up and made her way back to her rooms. 

He watched her leave. 

Finally, he got up to get back to work. There were many things left to do before all was right with the Galaxy. Before the future became ... gentler. 


	14. Transcendence

He took the holo from his mother in his rooms. She first appeared smiling and excited when the comm started but soon calmed down when she realized something was wrong. Then he recognized that crease in her brow that showed her anxiety. "What now?" she asked.

"What now? I go back to work. You said you had some positive feedback from the raids we did? And some more intel?" 

The man she could see in the holo was one she almost knew, but she wanted to be sure. "It's time we meet, Be- Kylo Ren." 

_Who is Kylo Ren anymore?_ he wondered. "We will after the next joint raid."

**

On the bridge, General Enric Pryde came to meet him. He took a long look at the Supreme Leader's forlorn face, and saw that there was none of the uncontrollable rage that had been the trademark of the Master of the Ren. It had been replaced not with self-pity, but determination. 

"I have a list of staff and men who have been griping about the new direction the First Order is taking." It was best to keep working. "Commander Finn confirmed most of them, adding or deleting according to his recent observations. We can offer some of them early retirement, instead of waiting for them to commit treason. We might get some feedback we can use to adjust our course, or other information on what we're up against." 

Kylo Ben looked at Pryde. He only had a week left in service. "When I made that deal with the Resistance I was certain you would mutiny."

"Sir, I almost did. But then, when you killed Snoke - Sir, we know you did it - you freed all of us. I remembered my two sons, dead "for the Cause". They were your age. I remembered how _I_ was at your age. How fanatical for your Grandfather I was. In the end, what did the old man do? He sacrificed himself for his son."

That last hit Kylo Ren like a gut punch. He almost staggered, right there on the bridge. 

"I'm sorry Sir" Pryde whispered to him urgently, understanding the reach of what he'd just shared. "The realization just hit me now." He walked the Supreme Leader off the bridge, into the corridor just outside the door. 

"I lost my wife after our second son died. I think, if she were alive today, and knew how the First Order is changing, she would come back to me now."

***

Over the next two days, Rey spent most of her free time in the maintenance bay or the design labs now. She was starting to use her skill with the Force as a new sense to "see" how parts worked together, and how they didn't when something was wrong. Her progress was phenomenal, especially when she worked with droids. There were no Force lessons for her. It was better to avoid contact, lest she hurt him. 

As she worked tirelessly to acquire knowledge much needed for the Resistance, her thoughts strayed to the man she had taken to bed. She had "conquered" Kylo Ren; she had offered to gift him with a child. And then, she had shied of Ben Solo. _Who is Ben Solo?_ she wondered. 

Finn came to find her. "You're wanted on the bridge." He gave her a look: "Be nice."

It was Hux that greeted her just outside the door. Before they went in, he took her to a little side office, where they sat and he cautioned her:

"War is Chaos. That was not the First Order's original mission, obviously. Supreme Leader Snoke subverted our mission to settle his personal score with the Jedi by having us believe that War is Peace. History books remember the great Republic ships that used to patrol the galaxy under the guidance of the Jedi. They also remember how the Sith turned it into a military Empire until it was defeated by a single Jedi. To have even a symbolic Jedi with us will help us find out who will or will not work with us towards a peaceful Galaxy." 

"We would introduce you as 'The Last Jedi Warrior'. We know you are not the one, and we know about the Jedi's hubris, but their intention was still to bring order to the Galaxy so we can have Peace."

Rey looked at him. They both knew who the Last Jedi was now; it was Ben Solo.

"Why don't you just reveal Ben Solo, then?"

A half-smile flashed across Hux's face. _The irony!_ "Kylo remembers the hubris. And he says the 'Jedi-Killer' doesn't deserve the title."

"Besides," he added, "what we saw from the command shuttle on Crait was Kylo Ren defeating Luke Skywalker. It was only later we realized it was a... Force-projection?" Rey nodded, "and since he died from the effort, it all came out to the same thing. Holos were leaked to the Galaxy, some of them doctored. We're still in damage control over that."

"Whose idea is this, anyway?"

"You don't know him, but you will. We have a council now, we've invited General Organa as a 'consultant'. " Hux looked proud of that one. "We considered Finn for the role, though we understand he's not nearly as advanced as you are. If you decline, the Supreme Leader will accept. But..." He gave her an amused look, "You know he never half-asses anything, it won't be symbolic for him: he will go all in with the Jedi religion. The Jedi are forbidden attachment. yes? "

Rey gaped for a second, before shutting her mouth. _"It's time for the Jedi to end."_ Both Luke and Kylo had said as much.

Here, Hux made a deliberate pause, " _I_ think, you two being a Dyad of opposing forces, it adds to the Mysticism, and to the validation of our movement."

 _Balance. Maker,_ she _missed_ Jakku _._

"One last thing: we have so far avoided a mutiny, but if you accept this new 'role', you will attract negative attention; there may be attempts on your life."

"Let 'em _try_ ", she said. Until now she had been a hostage - even if the Resistance had tried to gloss it over with the title "Ambassador". Giving her some decisional power made her more than the Supreme Leader's plaything - or now _lover -_ it made her the First Order's new moral compass. "I accept the role."

They went in. He introduced her to each station and the staff minding it, and the senior staff present on the bridge. 

**

He didn't lock his door to her, and she didn't lock hers. 

On the third night she went to him, and after an hour of trying to control it, she reached for him and he joined her. It was bliss but he wouldn't give her his seed, spilling it outside of her instead. He remembered his childhood, how an uneven relationship had broken apart. Through the Bond, he remembered _hers_ , and how she had been nothing but the product of an irresponsible coupling. So, even as they shared their bodies, he would not let a product of them happen, unless she felt the same way he did. He thought of all this but didn't go to the medic for an implant of his own. Not yet. And neither did she. 

While she sorted her feelings he resolved not to let her force him again, walking out if she tore at him for that feeling of conquest she sought. Was she different from the women who had come to him before? She was; she was far more afraid of her own feelings than of Kylo Ren. 

***

It was night in the metropolis, but that city never slept. They had four teams, all wearing casual clothes to disguise the light armor underneath, carrying discrete weapons and their helms in backpacks until they made it into the underground tunnels that branched off the main light train network. Kylo had divided the teams to mix and match crews as diverse as he could, Poe and Finn were leading two teams, dividing up the Knights between them. The Knights did not like it, but it was necessary to do so to offset the team he made with Rey and Chewbacca. He needed to see her work, personally. A fourth team was lead by an Elite Storm Trooper who had recently ascended the ranks, but was eager to make his mark. Tanzen Redfire, his name was, from TZ-78-something. The troopers had started naming themselves, taking their squad names as surnames. _Esprit de Corp_ was completely changing among the troops. 

There was malaise with Chewbacca at first. It was clear the wookie was with them mainly to assess him. He would just have to do his best. The battle plan had been in great part drawn up by Chewie himself, although he had ceded leadership to him. Such was the big male's nature. 

Once again, the diversity of the Resistance fighters worked to their advantage; Redfire's team was integrating a togruta named Danind Rerbomi-Redfire. His echo location abilities helped find the guard dogs that patrolled the area they were in. Others raiders climbed to high reaches to neutralize surveillance systems. They couldn't quite shut down the power grid here, since they had to be discreet and this compound was integrated into the city's systems. They had to capture the Qaid alive, though, so he would give them the officials that was facilitating the illicit operations. 

Kylo let Rey take the lead. It wasn't long before he realized she was as bloodthirsty as he'd been told. She soon went into a sort of trance, running along the tunnels unerringly, snapping or chopping necks with her staff that darkened as she advanced, each hit sending a thrill along their bond. It was all he could do to keep up with her and control his own fury. After her fifth kill, he was battling an inconvenient erection as well. It was hard to stay focused while the urge to pick her up and fuck her against a wall - any wall - throbbed with him. Ahead of him, she stumbled, turning around to give him a dirty look full of promise. Chewie groaned loudly and he snapped his thoughts back to the immediate battle. 

The infiltration and take over of the compound took well over two hours. The hardest part had been getting to the actual cages keeping the slaves without triggering the destruction mechanism. This was a new tactic they had learned from an informant who had witnessed its devastating effects. 

In spite of caution, one mechanism did trigger, showering a rain of blaster bolts on the slaves within. 

Rey went into a fury. The last two thugs were broken into deformed lumps. 

Kylo was lucky she didn't kill him as well, as it took all of his skill to calm her. His skill, and sending endless soothing down the bond to her. It took long minutes...and then, her Force-Rage began to transcend into something not seen in ages. 

She rushed to kneel beside Chewbacca, hissing as she picked up the oversized hairy arm and closed her eyes. Kylo also closed his eyes, feeling her manipulation of the Force on Chewie. _In_ Chewie. He put up a hand to stop the others who had rushed into the room. Then he fell to his knees, just as Rey passed out from the effort of setting Chewbacca's arm. 

Rey had fixed Chewbacca's arm. 

She came to just as her head touched the ground and immediately went for the cage that had been ravaged with blaster fire and pushed through the bodies until she found one alive.

She pulled the boy out and sat with him in her lap, and the same Force agitation was redirected to mend the tissue closed and begin the healing process. The result was mitigated, but the boy would survive. Then she pushed herself up and stumbled to the 'trooper she had ripped a gaping wound into. She closed that one as well.

Then she finally passed out for good. 

There was a reverent silence as troopers and resistance fighters alike watched the Supreme Leader cradle the Last Jedi in his arms, sobbing with relief. 


	15. A Farewell to Pryde

They sat outside the medical bay on the new Resistance flagship, the _Pelta_ -class frigate _Resilience_. Kylo sat with Leia and Pryde as he recounted the mission and the extraordinary way it had ended. General Pryde's last job before retirement would be to ascertain the high-ranking officers' reactions when it was his turn to debrief how the mission had concluded. Pryde's own reaction was one of mixed disbelief and relief.

Like her son's, Leia's was one of pure joy and relief. Even if her Jedi training had been abandoned in favor of her other duties, she remembered some of the abilities she had touched upon, so as her son excitedly explained to her what he had gleaned of Rey's manipulation of the Force to "fix" living bodies she could almost see it happening. 

"She combined her engineering understanding of matter with the energy available through Force-Rage to direct the bones and skin to knit together; but then, as her Rage subsided, she just kept using that same energy, like she'd turned Rage into ... into..." Kylo's eyes went wide with awe.

"Into Love." Leia finished for him.

"Into _Love_!" Kylo Ren was so blown away by the epiphanie he looked like someone else entirely. He looked like Ben Solo. Enrich Pryde stood up and took his leave. Private emotions were about to break through and it was best if he left them to it. Leia looked at him go with gratitude. 

And break through they did. The corridor outside medical bay became unusually deserted while Ben cried into his mother's arms.

***

Three officers called in sick for the next morning's debriefing. Two were nowhere to be found, one had been poisoned. A fourth officer had simply not shown up. General Hux had urgent communications from every corner of the Galaxy, demanding everything from the re-negotiations of major First Order contracts to the confirmation of "disturbing" rumors about the Supreme Leader.

He looked over at Finn, who stared back. At least they were on speaking terms. Finn stood up and gave his account of what he had seen while on the raid, along with a simplified explanation of the Force power that had been used to heal trooper, Resistance fighter and slave alike.

On the eve, he'd gone over the explanation with Rose and now she _was_ interested in coming on board. "Rey is making Kylo Ren cry?" she blurted, laughing.

"Is that all you took away from what just I told you? Rey figured out how to Force-heal people! Using engineering knowledge and Dark side abilities."

She had switched to Light side after, but whatever. He had to learn this as soon as she was back.

Now he shared this hope with the staff present. 

General Pryde sat to his right, watching everyone in the room. Had the missing officers escaped, fled, or had they been _defenestrated_ ? He noted some over-guarded expressions. Some over-benign ones as well. Kylo _Ben_ would have to show his _protégés_ how to interrogate people. The need was becoming pressing.

He also tried to imaging the irate, frightening killing machine he had known less than a year ago, healing people. He thought of his eldest grandson, baby on the way. It was a good time to retire, though he was sure to miss witnessing first hand all that was yet to come. 

***

The attack occurred the very same day she came back on board. Kylo's and Rey's heads snapped up and they each wove a shield as soon as the trio walked into the briefing room, with Finn flipping up the heavy table up almost as fast. Not quite fast enough. Both men jumped up to meet the attackers with their light-sabers drawn. They made quick work of two of them, the third one held in a Force-grip by Finn, who was grimacing as Kylo stood by, gauging his apprentice's ability to control himself. He stunned the man just as Finn was losing his Rage. They looked back to the rest of the people there.

This had been a test, they soon understood. Little damage had been done, even as one officer was obviously dying : Pryde.

Rey was cradling him, but the damage to his head was too great. Saving him would be worse than letting him go. There were other wounded to take care of. Flipping the table had been a good idea, except for the junior who now had a broken leg. Three others had been hit, Hux among them; the way he was spattered with brain matter showed he'd been spared the worst only because he had been leaning behind Pryde at the time. Still, a second hit had shattered his collarbone. 

Kylo made Rey abandon Pryde and coaxed her into turning the attack into a lesson for the men. The medics had been called, inside guards had moved outside the door, so now was as good a time as any. In the din of cries of shock and pain, the Force-wielders joined their minds in meditation to learn an ability even greater than Rage. She started with the worst hit. 

Neither of the men had quite as much an understanding of broken things and how to hack them as she did, so she instead showed them how to circumscribe the damage and accelerate the normal healing process. They would have to study with the medics to learn how to set bones. They all would, after this. 

Then Kylo moved to the next wounded. The Darkness within him balked: it was an incredibly intimate use of the Force. He tricked his Darkside by approaching his patient with a Probe instead and pushed his awareness passed the man's mind, into his arm, to the almost-detached stump of it, while Rey and Finn "looked on". The room was soon silent. Rey jerked her head up and signed Hux, who saw the threat to his left, and quickly lifted his good arm to blast an officer who was apparently a poor judge of timing. Once the wound was closed, Kylo went to Hux, while Finn went to the woman closest. Rey guided him as well. He had great reserves of Light, so his attempt was quickly successful. 

The last was a pierced lung they hadn't seen at first and Rey had a hard time of it. She opted for just keeping the blood out, preventing asphyxiation as well as collapse, long enough for the medics to rush in and find the biggest surprise of their lives. 

**

"Those kids were impatient. Next time, they'll use explosives." Hux agreed with Kylo. His arm was in a sling. The shattered bone would take some time to set, but the injury to the flesh had healed incredibly fast, thanks to Kylo's work, as clumsy at it had been. It had left an ugly scar but Armitage didn't mind: the significance of the scar was worth a little hindrance in movement. It had sealed their trust, and marked another milestone in his brother's progress.

They sat in Hux's study, with two trusted aides who had not been injured. 

All of the men had been on the watch list, except the older officer who obviously had little experience in the field, but had been good at hiding his feelings, until he had thought to shoot _"that woman"._ That woman who earlier today had refined her initiate grasp of the force-probe through practical experience on his mind. 

"He was a Snoke fanatic, that one. Truly enraged against the "hubris of the Jedi"." Rey looked around the table they sat at. "He was apparently too set in his ways to realize things are changing."

"I thought Enrich was too set in his ways." Kylo said. There was a solemn silence. "What a waste."

"He called Enrich a traitor. Well you two too." Rey smirked: "He called me a... uh... bitch." That wasn't quite true. He'd called her relation to Kylo something much more vile. 

"Snoke hated me." Kylo said, dejected.

"Oh, he _did_." Hux tried to soothe his old rival. "Kylo-"

"Ben, call me Ben."

\- Ben, you were a _Skywalker_ to him. And he never quite broke you. You should be proud of that." 

"He loved _you_." Rey and Hux looked at each other, frowning. 

"Snoke found me useful. I was a mostly competent fool. " Hux looked at Rey again. He was trying to tell her something, but she wasn't sure what. 

Hux sighed. "Anyway, now if you don't mind, I have state funerals to prepare. For General Enrich Pryde, who was one day away from rejoining his family, kriffin _shit_. You better write your best eulogy ever, Ben. Funeral's in two days. Now get out, Supreme Force-Dyad". 

"We have to go to Ahch-To", she told him as they made their way to their shared suite. Luke was dead, or returned to the Force, but the place still had power. She thought Ben Solo would find answers there. As for her, she had better questions. 

They supped together. Ben was quiet, and she realized he was grieving. Enrich's death had reopened his wounds. All his "fathers" were dead because of him. Directly or indirectly. 

She'd taught the Monster how to save others. This was one of the only things she had given him. The other, the soothing of the nightmares, he was doing by himself, though she suspected their intimacy was a big part of it. The other gift she wanted to make him, the one that would make _him_ a father, wasn't forthcoming. 

She decided she would get down on her hands and knees for him. There was no "conquest" of Kylo Ren anymore, and he did not _want_ to submit her. His every attention towards her was always gentle, devoted attention. With her, he let himself be soft, and caring, and loving. And she had been nothing but a cold-hearted _bitch_ to him. 

When they moved to sit and listen to music - he wouldn't dance tonight - she dimmed the lights and stripped both her and him. She sat on his lap to exchange warming kisses and she leaned to let her kisses trail down his chest.

And then she slid off his lap to kneel before him. He looked at her, unsure. 

She was unsure too but she could be gentle. She closed her eyes and let her other senses guide her. Over the washboard of muscle, there was a trail of little hairs that lead her lips to the richness of a jungle, out of which grew the root of life. She felt it brush against her cheek and tangle in her hair and her hands felt his thighs tense while she heard his breath quicken. She felt a hand try to pull her aside but she brushed it away. 

"Let me at least try", she murmured to the smooth warmth against her cheek. His musk was like ocean spray. Her hand cupped his testes, where rested what she wanted from him, the life there. The promise. She had to make a promise too. She turned her head and kissed his shaft, and right away it throbbed with life. She worked her way up from there, each kiss like a little prayer, each kiss a little wetter until by the time she had made it to the glans she was good and hungry. She heard a sharp intake of breath then and looked at what she was doing to him. It was a face of him she decided she would see again and again. In her hand, oozing from the plum-like head was a drop of the nourishment she wanted. She let her tongue snake out to taste it. It was warm and wild but it was him. With her hand she caressed and squeezed another drop from him and he shifted towards her, and she saw him close his eyes, head falling forwards a bit, his thick mane hiding his features.

She breathed deep and took him in her mouth. His own breath hitched and she remained still, thinking of what she knew of herself, applying that knowledge to him. Over the Bond, there was pleasure and wonder and the relaxation of trust, building with the realization that she did care for him. She took more of him in her mouth, and her hunger intensified, until she felt like she wanted to swallow him whole. He moaned and it was the most beautiful sound. His hands twitched on each side of her head and one reached her face, just gently touching her cheek. She closed her eyes again, letting the hand play in her hair, aware of a strength that could push her down and choke her, but didn't. 

He tensed more, and she felt him want to take her away, but she decided to take it all the way. She was wet herself, and throbbing, but she would wait. She took her time, finding a motion and then just giving it to him. After a while, he fell softly to lay on the settee - what a wondrous invention, that - and she followed him up, still kneeling between his muscular thighs, caressing him warmly. His breath became ragged and she increase her rhythm. Then something wondrous happened. 

It hit her like waves, and she held him in, holding on like he was out to sea and she was his lifeline. Breathing around him cautiously so he wouldn't drown. The little grunts he made were worth the discomfort. When she felt him jerk with over stimulation, she released him. 

Oh what a sight he was : completely undone, a red flush all over his chest, hands limp in surrender, face buried in that dark tangled mane, winded as if he'd been running, running to her. 

Had she yet again defeated Kylo Ren? No, she decided, she had kissed Ben Solo. 

When he could stand again he picked her up and carried her to his bed. 

***

"To be alive is to be constantly in a state of change, of flux. It is when we harden and refuse to change anymore that we begin to die. General Enrich Pryde saw enormous change over his fifty years as a military man. Serving one Idealistic Leader after another, each of them preaching a kind of order they believed was the Perfect State for the Galaxy. It was in fact, nothing but stasis. Paralysis, even. Progress and growth became limited to the development of tools of conquest and destruction. Order was nothing but a desire to control the uncontrollable, the very essence that defines life: change, and the diversity it brings. 

"When I took over the Role of Supreme Leader, I knew only that the future had become a very dark place, and that no life would grow in that darkness, strange or familiar. I looked around me, at my staff, and I got to know Enrich Pryde as well as I let him know me. 

"Enrich had given both his sons to the Empire, and one of his granddaughters. He saw how his other children were growing so very different from the Ideals of the Empire or those of the First Order. He could appreciate their differences (we will hear his musician grandson - Meric - play Last Post in a moment). He started thinking maybe his former Masters had constrained the future rather than embrace it. He told me, when I asked him why the change of heart, that it had become clear to him why Darth Vader had sacrificed his life - to save his son. The son of Anakin Skywalker, who was part of the Rebellion. A living, changing, diverse force in the galaxy that will always be there. 

"When Enrich came back from his observation of the Resistance, he had understood that life. He shared his understanding with me. With you. 

"This wisdom, I carry with me now. I too tried to embody the Ideals I was instructed to believe - like so many of you, of _us_ \- but the future is not one fixed, sterile, homogeneous thing. 

"Some of you still fear you will not find a place in a world that is so different from you. Fear not. The First Order is evolving with you. It is this evolution that General Enrich Pryde finally embraced in the last months of his life. And for his support, I will eternally be grateful."

There was some applause, some murmurs. The young _trompettiste_ gave a moving rendition as clear and bright and wistful as the tune could be. Kylo Ben shook and wiped tears. 

Hux had helped him write the speech. Finn was in charge of security. Rose had come on board recently and sat with Rey. His mother was in attendance. The other Resistance members that had come had suffered personal losses in their confrontations with him. Still, they honored him like ancient combatants will, when the war is over. 

For the war was over. 


	16. The Temple on the Island

Accompanied by Rose Tico, the trio of Force-wielders took the Supreme Leader's Command shuttle for Ahch-to. It was summer now and the island was surprisingly balmy. The caretakers eyed them suspiciously at first, especially when they saw Rey among them, but Rose greeted them amicably and they decided not to chase them off with their brooms. Prepared, they had brought gear and food for a few days, and chose two huts to squat in. Luke's hut had been cleared of his things, stored somewhere by the caretakers, and Rey wasn't quite enough in their good graces to ask to see or recuperate them.

The group made their way up the innumerable steps to the sacred tree, now empty of the sacred books. They stood in front of it, staring at the burned out stump. 

"I wonder what happened" Rey said, "It wasn't like that when I left." Could Luke have thrown a fit after discovering her theft of the books? _Unlikely,_ she thought, _but he did say it was time to end all of it._

There was still the mosaic in the Jedi temple proper to see, and the meditation ledge. And later, the Mirror Cave. When they entered the temple Ben's first thought was that this was an open space large enough to hold a class of students. _How many generations trained here before the move to Coruscant ?_ Finn and Rose had found the mosaic and were staring at it. Then Ben and Rey joined them and stared at it. 

"It's a balance of Dark and Light!" Rose blurted. 

"It's the Prime Jedi." A new voice announced. They turned to see an older man bathed in ethereal light, his image translucent, his voice booming in the cavernous space. 

"Master Luke!" exclaimed Rey.

*

After their initial surprise, they made way for the Jedi Master to walk to the side of the mosaic, and they sat when he did. A look passed between Ben and his uncle, a look that asked and accepted a truce between them. Luke greeted Finn for the first time, and gave Rose a warm smile. 

"I looked at this mosaic for five years before understanding its true meaning. I guess, Rey of nowhere, you were sent to me so that I could share that understanding before passing on into the force."

"The Sith split from the Jedi thousands of year ago," Luke began, "and the war started then. The Jedi had slowly started to reject the Dark side of the Force, as something evil to be feared, as if they could deny the existence of death, or violence, or emotion, and that was their first mistake.

"Maybe it happened when one of them was more afraid of death than of killing; maybe it happened when one of them fell in love, felt heartbreak, and decided love was a thing to reject and avoid at all cost - who knows - but the balance was destroyed, and as much as the Sith lost the Light, the Jedi lost their connection to the Dark, which is half the Force." 

Luke turned to Ben Solo, who was also Kylo Ren. "You are teaching them Dark and Light side abilities?" 

All three nodded. Luke nodded in turn. Then everyone looked at Anakin Skywalker's grandson, trained by both a Jedi and a Sith-like Dark Lord in equal parts; he sat with his Dyad-half on his left, his ex-stormtrooper apprentice on his right. 

Then Luke looked at the figure in the mosaic at their feet. 

Rose gasped. 

"I would have some time alone with my nephew, if you don't mind." It was a polite command. 

*

"Anakin is immensely proud of you" Luke added.

Ben looked up at that, surprise and disbelief in equal parts on his face. He'd heard of the Force-ghosts of the Jedi, but no more than that. He suspected Snoke would sever each connection to the Light as he tightened his grip on his prey. He certainly would have subverted any connection from his Grandfather. Maybe in time, he would be able to see him for himself. For now he felt graced with that of his old Master. 

_" 'The brightest light casts the darkest shadow'_ I told your mother when she started worrying about you," Luke started, "and at the time, we thought to fight the Darkness in your place, and shield you and lie to you for your own protection. We did a lot of things "for your protection". Except educate you."

Ben allowed himself to think back on those years: the temptation, the struggle, the futility of his resistance as it only made the forbidden more seductive. And all that time, the voice whispering those lies in his mind. 

"You didn't know what to do." It was a statement, not an accusation. 

"I didn't." Both men stared at the mosaic below them.

"You didn't have anyone you could ask." Another statement. More gentle than the first. 

"I didn't. But now I think you've figured it out all by yourself. With Rey, and with ... Finn?" 

"Finn. So far it's like he doesn't _need_ the Dark. He still has to know how it works, though. Rey is my Dyad-half: the Force made her for- um, t-to save me. Or us, I guess."

There was moment's reflective silence. Then Luke decided to share something. "I met someone, years ago, you might remember her? Mara?"

"That red-headed woman? She didn't stay very long." The students had had a bit more freedom during her visit. After she'd gone, though, Luke had become much stricter. 

"She didn't stay." There was regret in his voice. There was another pause.

"You remember Voe?" Ben suddenly said, face turning crimson.

"I remember Voe, you two were always bickering, always competing." Luke looked at his nephew after an embarrassed silence set in. "Oh." 

"Uncle...she was my first m- murder." The admission tore from him. It was like lancing a deep, infected wound. 

Luke seized his student's hand and held it, and the tears came, pouring out, washing the wound clean. 

**

After two weeks of teachings - mostly teaching Rey and Ben _how_ to teach - but also refreshers on some basic Light abilities all three could benefit from, the trio decided to explore the Mirror Cave. Each had visions.

Finn was building a temple with Rose: after a moment, many people came by to help: some were children. He used the power to pile the great stone blocks upon each other. He realized after a while it was on Takodana.

Ben was barefoot and was leaving new footprints in a garden which seemed overgrown with flowers and weeds, but he knew the name and the purpose of each one there. Sometimes he stood and looked to the horizon, waiting, then he would crouch again, his hands dark with rich soil. Soon, he was overwhelmed as children of all colors rushed him. Some were big children that looked like him. They helped him with the toddlers and the seedlings.

Rey was granted a new vision: she walked down a dark path, dressed in dark grey but her boots were a milky white. She wielded a blade that looked like a cross between her staff and Ren's crazy saber, a dark-orange, menacing thing of fire that lit her path. Her hands were covered in blood. She was big with child and she knew there would be more than one. At first, there were others with her, then as the vision progressed, she had fewer companions until none were left: she was not alone, though, she knew were her children were. 

**

In the little hut they had chosen, Ben decided he trusted Rey enough to not be so careful anymore. On the Island on Ahch-To, the Dyad joined their forces as one, creating a new Solo.

***

When they came back, General Hux sighed in relief and informed them of multiple mouvements in the ranks and the troops including re-assignments, desertions, more assassinations and arrests. The Galactic War was over for the People, but internal struggles were still rampant, and the crime syndicates had finally understood who the new enemy was. 

***

When she missed her second period, she told him she loved him as they danced in their shared study. It was as if the final bond had been tied between them. Then she asked to carry his name.

Then she left with the remaining Knights of Ren. 


	17. Epilogue

"You sure she's coming?" The dusky-skinned ex-storm-trooper asked, still dubious.

"I am. I can feel her nearer. Besides", the tall man added, "the twins are five now. It's time."

"I don't know how you can stand it. If Rose did something like that to us, I'd go crazy." Finn Tico looked at Ben Solo. The man was graying at the temples now. He kept his hair long, often tied in a top-knot. The scar across his face was barely visible now. He wore grey robes. They both did. A sash of color adorned their costume every now and then. He preferred lilac, like his light-saber. 

Solo preferred deep orange. "I think, if she stayed with us, _she_ would go crazy. Besides, I think this is the last time." 

A gaggle of children ran into the room were the two men stared out the star-port. The twins, Ami and Zola, running and screaming around the men; an older girl, tan colored with a round face and impossibly long legs; and a buck-tooth boy, all nose and ears like his father. Rose came in after them, toddler on her hip. 

"Your turn," she said, as she put the curly-haired boy down. "I'm gonna finish packing for when we make planet-fall." The boy immediately made for Matt Solo's leg, holding up a tie-fighter toy. "Fly." he said. 

Matt looked at Finn, who nodded. Then he looked at his father, who smiled at him before nodding in turn. The toddler floated in the air, whooping in delight as they ran away. At least, it would keep the boy busy. 

The girls ran to where the building blocks were, immediately starting on some new construction. The men turned their backs on the the fantastical nebula outside the viewport and watched their children. 

"It'll be harder on the boy, this time." Finn stated.

"He knows what his mother is. She'll be with us for at least a year again. She'll be good to him, and the twins." _And me_ , he thought. Then she'd be off again, terrifying the cartels. She'd promised him she would come home to stay once the eldest would be fifteen. _She'll try, anyway._

The Grey academy now had fifteen students and five teachers. Leia Organa taught as well as administered the school, while Ben was headmaster and Finn was his deputy. Rey tried teaching when she was there, but she was always soon with child, so she gave few classes herself. Once the children were weaned, she was off again. She weaned them too soon, he thought. She'd fly off with his Knights and his name and hunt down her favorite prey: slavers. When she found a Force-sensitive, she would send them to the School. 

**

He remembered the first time she left him, he'd pleaded with her: "Don't leave me alone in this world." "I won't", she promised, and she had come back three months later, obviously very pregnant and unable to partake in raids anymore. 

Six months later, she put their first-born in his arms and packed her things. "I'm taking the Knights", she said, "so don't worry. I'll be back."

She was back five years later. She was pregnant again within the month. She stayed a whole year. Then she put the twins in his arms and packed her bags. She knelt before her boy and told him: "Take care of your dad and your sisters for me. Can you do that? I'll be back in four years."

This time, she took the cross-guard crimson saber with her, leaving him the golden-orange staff. 

She did not wear a mask but rather a veil, painted in black and white to ressemble death, and when he saw her wearing it, cloaked and surrounded by her Knights and wielding that crazy saber on the rare holo footage of her that could be found he thought she was a beautiful monster. 

**

She stayed for more than a year this time, but only because it took longer for his seed to take inside her. It took longer for her to recover, too. 

"This is the last time, I promise." And she put their second son in his arms and knelt before the twins and told them: "Take care of your dad and the baby for me. Can you do that?" But the girls ran in circles around her and screeched. Then she looked at Matt: "When I come back, you'll be a man. I can teach you the other things then." Only one Knight was left, Trudgen. The Ren saber was a light pink in color, its plasma blade stabilized. He looked at the thing in his hand, barely recognizing it. She took her staff again. 

When she didn't show up for Matt's fifteenth birthday, Ben Solo took his eldest son and went to find her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was clear to me that the Dyad could balance only if Rey's Darkness was respected, and Ben renounced his "Evil Ways". It was clear that they couldn't actually live together in holy domesticity, but as Binary Stars: circling each other eternally, never distant, never close.  
> And what would a father-son road trip be for Ben and Matt Solo?
> 
>  _Note 2:_ It was brought to my attention that this ending is not an ideal HEA. This is the only fic where I depict her like a military servicewoman, often deployed. Ben is holding up the Fort as a teacher and a loving father.   
> So for the broken-hearted out there, I can limit Rey's journey into darkness to 10 years, or have her stay with her family for longer stretches. 
> 
> The war against slavery will always rage on.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe this inspired me:  
> [Kate Bush - Running up that hill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7fmB8J2hJw)  
> Also, if you happen to check out my ep9 rewrite and find that both fics start essentially the same...well once I wrote Ben's Madness into this one, I realized it was the proper way to start anything after TLJ.  
> So I shamelessly plagiarized my own work. They have widely divergent arcs after that, ep9 being a more complete work.  
> It's being re-written as we speak, having finally found a beta to help me polish it into the gem it can be.


End file.
